Shots Across The Bow

Happy Thanksgiving!

When you read this, it better be tomorrow (Friday). If you're reading this on Thursday, get up out of your chair and go hang out with your family/friends. If you're all alone, and in the neighborhood, come on over and share some leftovers; Thanksgiving is a time to get together and enjoy each other's company, not sit behind a monitor and type away to the pixel people. (And despite the date and time on this post, I'm actually typing on Wednesday, while two pumpkin pies and a chocolate pecan pie bake in the oven.)

I'm thankful that/for:

• My kids are all healthy, smart, and reasonably happy, even the ones going through adolescence and driving my into the nut house.
• My ex and I can get along well enough that our kids have not faced more stress than necessary.
• My entire family, brother, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, in laws, former in laws, are all healthy, happy, and safe.
• My mother; she's found the strength to carry on.
• My father; right or wrong, weak or strong, he made me the man I am today.
• My children, who make me proud to be their dad.
• Living in the freest country in the world today, if not in all of history. A country known for:
  • Tolerance, where my neighbor and I can disagree about religion, politics, or the price of a cup of coffee without feeling the need to shoot one another.
  • Freedom of speech, where one can criticize the government in the harshest possible temrs without fear of being fed into a paper shredder, or being "disappeared"
  • Generosity, where no tragedy is too large to handle; where the average citizen will give the very shirt off his back to help victims of disaster.
  • Opportunity, where anyone can improve themselves, regardless of race, ethnicity, or social background.
• The men and women in our military, who defend the freedoms many of us take for granted, even while some use those very freedoms to attack, harrass, or denigrate them or their mission.
• My friends, who enrich my life by allowing me to be a part of theirs.

I know there will be those who will look at this list, and want to disagree with one or more items, but they are missing the point. I'm not saying that things are perfect, or that everything is as good as it can be. But on this one day of the year, it might do us all some good to take a look around and realize just how good we have it here in the US. Even the harshest critics must admit (unless they've lost all touch with reality) that America is the best place in the world to live. Heck, just look at the immigration numbers, both legal and illegal. The world knows that America is the place to be if you want to improve your life and your family's life.

What we consider poverty, most nations consider great wealth. We complain about the lack of health care, yet very few people live more than an hour away from a hospital where they will get more health care than most people in the world dream of. We worry about hidden racism within our nation while other nations carry out genocide and ethnic cleansing campaigns within theirs We worry about 5% unemployment while Europe routinely deals with double digit unemployment numbers. By any measure you care to use, we are lucky to be living in America.

Sure, there's room for improvement in many areas, and lots of work to be done. But today is a day to count our blessings and appreciate what we have. So Happy Thanksgiving Day to each of you!

PS: I'm also very thankful to all of you who read these words. I'd write 'em anyway, but it's a lot more fun knowing that folks are reading and even enjoying this stuff.

Last Words on Saturday's Game

Congratulations to the Commodores. Y'all played a heck of a football game and deserved the win.

You know, 22 years of futility would be enough to make any team forget how to win. When a team loses that often, it becomes easier to make excuses for losing, and actually grow to accept it.

But not the Commodores.

When the Vols came back, scoring 17 straight points to take a 3 point lead in the 4th quarter, a lot of teams with Vandy's history would have folded.

But not the Commodores.

They quietly went about their business, drove the ball down the field and scored the winning touchdown. They knew what they had to do, and had faith in their coaches, their quarterback, and each other. No player felt like he had to win the game on his own; instead, they trusted each other to do their jobs and knew they could win as a team.

That's character, something the Vol teams over the last few years have lacked.

A Few Words About the UT Vols

Embarrassing.
Overrated.
Poorly Coached.
Underachieving.

I could go on, but you get the point. When Coach Fulmer said that the Vols were just "a few plays away from a great season" during his press conference acknowledging the resignation of Randy Sanders, I knew he was in bad need of a reality check. Sadly, the check must have bounced since he just said, "Before you start building back anything, you have to hit rock bottom. This is rock bottom."

Message to Coach Fulmer: When you're ranked number three in the preseason, that is not a team that should be found at the 'rock bottom'.

Now, the cheerleaders masquerading as journalists on "The Sports Animal" have all vocally supported Fulmer, (I guess the 'animal' must be an ostrich) saying he should be given a chance to turn the team around. Of course, they have to say that. If they tell the truth about the futility of Fulmer's program, they may lose access to the athletes, and since their network is all Vol, all the time, that would be the equivalent of broadcast suicide. So instead of being honest, they'll make excuses for the coaches, and remind us of the National Championship from 7 years ago, or blame it on the players.

But here's the thing: Why should the man who brought us from a National Championship to these depths be given the chance to bring us out? And more to the point, what has he done to make anybody with half a brain think he can turn this thing around? After all, it's been his decisions that have led us to where we are.

Remember this post from Oct24th? Check out the charts and the stats there. Philip Fulmer has coached the Vols from excellence to mediocrity (or worse) all while placing more players in the NFL than just about every other program in the nation. Not to mention spending considerably more than all the other Division I schools.

What the Sports Ostriches won't tell you is that it isn't just about results; it's about meeting or exceeding expectations. Here's an example. Vandy is going to finish the season with a losing record again. But, they took Florida to double overtime, stretched Georgia, and beat Tennessee for the first time in 22 years. They'll finish 5-6 and be ecstatic about it, because nobody expected them to be that successful. Tennessee on the other hand will finish 5-6, if we're lucky, but because we expected to go 10-2 or maybe 9-3 at the worst, we're not going to be ecstatic about it.

Now that's a gross example (very gross actually) but what the radio pundits refuse to acknowledge is that the same arithmetic applies when you expect to go 10-1 but you go 8-3, and this has been par for the course under Fulmer. His teams consistently fail to meet expectations based on the talent he has available. So while Jimmy may crow about all the 8 or 9 win seasons, he's forgetting that they should have been 10 or 11 win seasons. In effect, Fulmer needs his teams to be more talented than opposing teams in order to break even, and significantly more talented in order to win.

This is not a recipe for a winning program.

Sadly, I have to remind you of the prediction I made on Oct 24th:

Upset lock of the millennium Take Vandy and the points against Tennessee on Nov 19. The 'Dores are about to end the streak and win outright.

For all of you out there who still think we can't fire Fulmer, let me ask you two questions:

How many times has a team ranked in the Top 5 finished the season with a losing record?

Of those teams, how many kept their head coach?

Crunch Time

OK, it's here; the inevitable has happened. If you've been keeping track of my numbers on the NaNoWriMo you've noticed that they haven't moved at all in a while. That means I'm behind. Actually, behind is too mild of a word. I'm deeply, catastrophically, buried under a pile of words that do not exist except in my head. I figure I have 13 days to spew out 45,000 words, and the only way for that to happen is for me to write nothing else and dedicate all my spare time to the project.

So, expect very little posting here until Dec 1. To make it up to you, I'll post at least a portion of the final product, probaby the entire first section of the book.

The only question will be whether y'all will like the book better than the silence that will precede it.

Does Everybody in Washington Work for Karl Rove?

Now, Bob Woodward, Mr. Watergate himself, has testified that he was told about Plame well before Scooter Libby told Judith Miller whatever he told her. (Remember, we still haven't learned who told the only reporter that published the information, Bob Novak. Curious omission, wouldn't you say?) And Woodward continued, saying that his source not only told him that Plame was a former CIA analyst, but that he didn't think the information was classified or secret.

So, while Mr. Fitzgerald hammers away at Scooter, saying that he was the first administration official to leak Plame's identity (somewhat odd, since he chose not to charge Libby with that act) now we find out that another reporter was very familiar with Plame's assignments well before Libby talked to Judith Miller, lending credence to the defense's argument that Plame's role in the CIA was well known among Washington insiders.

Could this be the insidious hand of Karl Rove, once again manipulating liberal Democrat politicians into making asses of themselves?

Or is it that they are quite capable of performing the job all by themselves?

Pot Kettle Part 374

John Kerry is unhappy, accusing President Bush of using the Iraq War for political purposes, and he's right to be angry. After all, it was his idea first; he based an entire Presidential campaign on it.

Veteran's Day

Days like today, I feel like a bit of a fraud. Yes, I did serve in the Navy for almost 9 years. Yes, I deployed during Desert Storm and have the South East Asia Service Medal with a Star to prove it. Yes, I'm eligible to join the VFW, American Legion, and the other Veteran's organizations. Yes, I am a Vet, and I am proud of my service.

But there are Vets, and there are Vets.

I never faced combat, and given my job as a nuclear reactor operator, the chances of me facing death were slim in any reasonable scenario. And in the event of the unreasonable scenarios, most likely I would have had a hot meal, rack time in a real bed, and a shower withing the last 24 hours.

The guys on the ground during both Gulf Wars couldn't claim that.

So on days like today, I take a back seat to them, the guys that really put it all on the line for their country. Yeah, I served and will again if it comes to it, bit today, I just want to say "Thank You" to all those who served, especially those who sttod on the front lines and placed themselves in harm's way in service for their country. You make me proud to be an American, and honored to be included in your company.

Anatomy of a Morning Show (Radio Edit)

The preceding post is a bit wordy for radio usage, so here's the Reader's Digest Condensed version:
Marc is not an ogre.
Kim is sweet.
Frank knows people.
The show is funny.
The blogger may have farted.(I'll never tell.)

Anatomy of a Morning Show

The alarm clock went off at 4AM Wednesday morning, three hours before I normally get up and about the same amount of time after I went to bed last night after finishing the post below. My eyes didn’t want to open, but I forced myself out of bed; I had a big day ahead of me.

I had the privilege of sitting in on the morning show at STAR 102.1 with Marc & Kim and Frank. I see Frank regularly at the Einstein Simplified show, and the bits that he’d drop about the morning show aroused my curiosity, so I wanted to know more about how it was put together, what kind of people it took to work such a strange schedule, and most importantly:

Why in the world would ANYONE get up at 4AM every morning!

To find the answer to this burning question, I asked Frank if I could come in and watch the show and interview the three of them. He checked with his partners and we set the date for Wednesday morning.

So there I was, in the car at 4:30AM, headed out for West Knoxville to watch the morning show. I pulled up to the studio shortly after 5AM and met with Kim and we went in to the studio, where I got to meet Marc. One of the first things I noticed was that despite all appearances, Marc is neither a tool, nor an ogre; he just plays one on the radio. He very graciously showed me in to the studio even though he had no idea who I was, gave me a place to set up, even gave me his chair, and told me to make myself comfortable.

The studio was different from what I expected. The lighting was kept fairly low, as you can see from the pictures, and it wasn’t the cluttered space you normally see on television shows. Instead of racks of records everywhere, and posters of bands, it was very clean and simple. In fact, it looked more high tech than the control rooms for the nuclear reactors I used to run in the Navy. There’s a central table with three stations, and another table covered in tape cartridges, and that’s it. Marc’s station comes with 3 flat screen monitors on swivel arms, and the main control board, which is all digital and state of the art. Below the desk, he has several keyboards to control the different computers that he uses to run the show.


Marc at his station
Kim also has a monitor, one that backs up the main control on Marc’s station, so if something goes wrong, Kim can take over. I sat, stood actually, in the guest station, where there was one microphone, a headphone jack, and no buttons for me to mess with, which was a good thing, since I tend to mess with buttons whenever possible.


Kim at her station
About three minutes before the show began, Frank stuck his head in the door, announced his presence, and quickly exited. That’s when I found out that Frank works in a separate studio. I knew he’d have to be remotely located so he could handle the phones without all the noise going out over the radio, but I figured he’d be in a little booth attached to the studio. But nope, they have Frank across the hall, out of sight, and out of touch.


Poor Frank, all by himself
But the creative folks of the morning show worked around that, mounting web cams in both studios so Frank and Marc can see each other. Also, both studios have internet access, so they IM back and forth to co-ordinate their activities. The odd part is that we could hear Frank in our studio off the air, but he couldn’t hear us, which resulted in Marc typing, then Frank’s disembodied voice answering.


Here's how the studio is arranged so Marc and Kim can work together.
So, how is the show put together? Well, let’s consider a sonnet. (I’m betting this is the first time Marc and Kim have ever been compared to Shakespearian poetry.) A sonnet is a poem that’s put together according to very strict rules. The number of lines, rhyme scheme, and meter are all defined for the poet; whatever he wants to say has to fit within those parameters. However, the content of the poem is entirely up to him; he can say whatever he wants to. The morning show is very similar. When Marc& Kim and Frank come in, the computer is already programmed with the commercials and songs pre-loaded and ready to run. The songs are selected by the station’s music director who takes into account the sales of the album, the local popularity of the song, it’s chart position, and when it was played before. A computer helps the director keep track of all of this so that each day’s play list is unique. Once the song list and commercial lists are merged, and station ID announcements, traffic and weather bunpers, etc are added in, the whole thing is dumped to a hard drive, ready for the show. This merged list provides the rules of the morning sonnet. The content of the show is entirely up to the DJ’s; like the poet, they get to say whatever they want as long as they follow the rules. Actually, the term DJ is totally outdated since I didn’t see a disc the entire time I was there. I don’t know what the accepted term for these guys is anymore, “Morning Personalities” seems more like a psychiatric disorder than a designation for a radio host. Then again, rising regularly at 4AM could certainly lead to psychiatric disorders, so maybe it is appropriate after all.

OK, so much for strained analogies.

Each member of the team has their assigned duties. Marc runs the boards and keeps the technical side of the show in order, while Kim collects and writes the news copy, as well as reads it in her “professional newscaster voice.” Frank screens calls, and makes sure Marc and Kim have interesting people to talk to.

When we listen to the show, we hear what sounds like a conversation between friends, something we do everyday in our lives. That familiar sound forges a connection between the jocks and the listeners and involves them in the show. What I discovered in the studio is that the conversation is real. While many morning shows rely on scripted bits, pre-recorded skits and pre-show meetings to plan what’s going to happen. While this approach does have some strengths, the loss of spontaneity creates a performance rather than a conversation, and that distances the jocks from the audience. Marc & Kim and Frank take a different approach to creating their show.

They each bring their own ideas for bits and during the show, they pass notes back and forth, or talk to each other on breaks, suggesting where to go next, or how to lead in to a new bit. In some cases, they will spring topics on each other in order to get a more honest reaction. The content of the show is built organically; ideas that bring a response from the other people on the team or from callers are continued; ideas that don’t are allowed to die a quick and painless death. There were two great examples of this during Wednesday’s show. First, since I was there watching and asking occasional questions off the air, Marc decided to take questions on the air. Then he changed it to a challenge, seeing if listeners could come up with a question he and Kim were unwilling to answer. The bit lasted through a couple of segments and got a lot of calls and some interesting responses, but didn‘t really go anywhere else. The second example came when Kim discovered that, for whatever reason, Journal Broadcast Group had installed a phone in the bathroom.

Kim left the studio to go to the bathroom, then called Marc on the studio line from the bathroom. He put her on the air, live from the bathroom, and then left the studio to go broadcast from the toilet. Not content with performing the morning show from a bathroom, in what very possibly is a radio first, they put the bathroom on speakerphone, and left it connected to the studio to record the next person who used the facilities. It wasn’t long before nature’s call was felt by some anonymous staffer, who we hope had very squeaky shoes because any alternative explanations for the sounds captured were too horrible to contemplate.

This second bit illustrates what Marc calls the “radio mushroom.” A good bit should inspire a follow on bit, related in some way, but taking a turn somewhere so it goes in a different direction, or “cauliflowers” as he called it, sticking with the vegetable metaphor. The bit progresses and evolves through one or two segments, and may even be revisited on a later show if it resonated well with the audience.

One thing became very clear as I watched them work through the morning; the success of a morning show has little to do with the songs played, or scripted bits, and everything to do with the rapport and relationship between the jocks and the connection they make with the listeners. During the first part of the show, they dealt almost exclusively with the school shooting in Campbell County. They took calls on the air and discussed what happened, but what I found more important is what happened off the air. Marc continued to take calls, not for the show, but just to let people have their say. Sure, if a caller had come up with a unique point of view or something he could have worked with, I’m sure he would have held the caller over and put them on the air, but even when they didn’t, he let them have their say before moving to the next call. A little later in the show, a caller wanted to know what Marc and Kim thought about the Iraq War. Now that’s a topic too heavy for drive time on a morning show, unless you’re Halloran Hill, so they couldn’t put her on the air, but Frank let her have her say anyway. What struck me was the earnestness in the callers voices; they weren’t trying to get a few moments of fame on the radio, they were talking to people they considered friends.

That’s what builds a good show; taking the time to make a connection with the audience.

So, since it is the personalities that make the show, who are Marc and Kim and Frank? What makes them do what they do?

Why they do it is easy to answer; they love it. While Marc and Kim make a very nice living doing the show, you don’t get into radio for money; even I know that. As Marc described it, there are a few teams at the top who make a good living in radio, and then there’s a very steep drop down to everyone else. After the show, Frank took me on a tour of the building, and I noticed that most of the people working there were very young, with a scattering of older executives. You have to be young to be able to work for as little money as most of them make, and most drop out before they have time to get old.

Marc got his first radio show when he was about 23, working weekend overnights from midnight to 6 am. It was the lowliest of shifts, and he had to fudge his resume to get even that much, but he knew from that first broadcast that radio was where he wanted to be. He vowed to make it to a morning show by the time he was 30, and he achieved that goal with a startup station in Pennsylvania where he said he could learn how to do a morning show without having to worry about an audience hearing his mistakes. There must not have been too many mistakes because he’s moved up steadily since then in prestige and market size until he arrived here in Knoxville 5 years ago.

Along the way, he’s held several jobs, some quite surprising given his radio persona, others not so much. It‘s no great stretch to see Mark as a car salesman, but can you picture him as a “Dating Consultant“, the term he prefers over “matchmaker?” Another side gig that has continued to this day has been manning the mic at sporting events. He’s currently the stadium announcer for the Ice Bears, returning after taking a break for a season, and has done sports announcing for over a decade.

Kim is one of the lucky few; she’s been able to move up through the ranks without ever having to leave Knoxville. One of the truths of life in radio is that you have to be willing and able to move around the country to find the next job in order to grow your career. Kim has not had to do that, spending her entire broadcasting career here in East Tennessee. She started out in sales and gradually moved towards the microphone. Holding dual positions in radio appears to be fairly common; probably because each job pays so little, the more hats you wear, the less you have to eat Ramen noodles and grilled cheese substitute sandwiches. Before radio, Kim had what can best be described as a varied work history, including stints in hardware sales and cage dancing in the Old City.

Yes, cage dancing. In a weird coincidence, my brother in law went to school with Kim, and he was as shocked by this revelation as we in the studio were. According to him, Kim was always a very shy, quiet, bookish sort of girl in high school. It just goes to show, you’ve gotta keep an eye on the quiet ones!

The newest member of the team is Frank, call screener and Distributor Of Ridiculous Knowledge par excellence. Before arriving at STAR 102.1, Frank followed a career path similar to Marc’s, moving around the country, taking jobs as they became available, working his way from a producer’s job to air personality. He spent quite a bit of time in LA and can often be heard boasting of his close relationships with Victoria Principle’s orthodontist or some such silliness. He came to Knoxville as part of the original morning team for The River, a station that has since been gutted, stabbed through the heart, decapitated, and finally lobotomized and roboticized. From there, he joined another morning show briefly, then joined the Marc and Kim show first as a caller, then as a call screener, and now as a highly valued member of the show. Like his two partners, Frank has also always known that he wanted to be in radio, and also held a variety of jobs working toward that end, including the mind boggling job of Assistant Shoe Publicist for the Academy Awards show. Who knew footwear required publicity? Oddly enough, it’s easy to picture Frank running around at the Oscars, telling anybody who will listen that Kate Winslet was wearing the latest from the Hushpuppies spring collection.

However, the key job in Frank’s pre-radio career had to be his job in the “Will Call” office for a small performing arts theater outside of Washington DC. Not only did that job indirectly lead to his career in radio, more importantly, it was also where he first met his wife Jere. In what clearly had to be destiny taking a hand, the theater burned to the ground, and that was when Frank applied for his first radio job, an on the air position with a small AM station. He got the job and never looked back.

The three of them together create a synergistic dynamic that….I apologize for that last sentence. I’m typing this in a Borders Café, and there’s some refugees from a business seminar at the next table and the jargon is rubbing off.

The three of them work very well together, as they have developed on air personas that create a feeling of fun and energy. When I first came into the studio, I expected to see dramatic changes between on air and off the air behavior, but I really didn’t. Sure, they do exaggerate some characteristics for humor, but by and large, what you hear on the radio is what I heard off the radio. Marc brought me in to the broadcast a few times ( a total surprise to me, by the way, so if I sounded like an idiot, please understand that’s why) and I found myself trying to work within the dynamic they already had going, hoping I didn’t throw them off their rhythm.

When the morning drive is over at 9AM, the show becomes more music driven, and the jocks can relax and unwind for their last hour. I took advantage of this time to ask them a few more questions about the state of radio, and what the future might hold.

First I asked them about the new jockless formats Jack and Earl, or as I call them, Hack and Hurl. Understandably, none of them were impressed with the formats. Marc called them “lazy and uninspired programming.” He elaborated, saying that the format offered nothing the listeners couldn’t get from an Ipod on shuffle, and Frank added that the formats were bland with no personality, nothing to hook the listener, and that eventually they would drift away.

When I asked them about how satellite radio might impact broadcast radio, Marc said that there was too much money being paid out by the satellite companies for them to make money in the near term. He pointed out that 195 million people listen to radio daily, but there are only 2 million subscribers to satellite radio so far. Frank added that the Achilles heel of satellite radio is that it lacks unique content, which is why Sirius is spending so much money to get Howard Stern. The problem with that strategy, and this is my opinion now, is that XM tried that with Opie and Anthony, making them a premium service.

Nobody subscribed, so XM put them on the regular package, and increased the base subscription fee.

Next I asked about pod casts. Marc thought that ipods and personal music systems isolate people too much, and people don’t like isolation; they want to be part of a community. He did say that they would be a nice supplement to radio, perhaps as a way to stream the best bits of a show. He was very interested in ways to remarket the show and expand its reach and pod casts were one way he saw to do that.

Next I asked the big question. What about downloading? It’s here to stay. What can the music industry do to adapt? Frank spoke first on this one. He pointed out that the success of pay per download services showed that people are willing to pay a fair price for music; they were just tired of being ripped off, paying for a full album of songs with only one good one. Marc added that the music industry had created the problem themselves by trying to push the album and get rid of the single, and now they would be forced to come up with a new business model. Downloading would not go away. Music downloads rejuvenated the single, and it’s no accident that the cost for a download is roughly equivalent to the price for an old 45. (For those of you under 30, ask your parents.)

Finally, I asked them about there future in radio, and where they thought they might go from here. The good news for Knoxville is that all three of them are very happy here, and like raising their families here. Marc sees a lot of opportunities to expand the show’s market and would really like to grow the show. Kim has never moved, and has little interest in it. And Frank hopes to stay here as well, working with Marc and Kim. It was very clear to me that three of them really enjoy working together, and are committed to keeping the team together if at all possible. Radio being what it is, there are never any guarantees, but if it were just up to them, the Marc & Kim and Frank Show will be in Koxville for a long time to come.

To end this marathon post, I’d like to thank Marc, Kim and Frank for not only letting me observe them at work, but for allowing me to participate in the show as well. Feeling the energy in the studio and running along with them answered the question that started this whole thing.

Why would anybody get up at 4AM every morning to do this job?

Because it is a hell of a lot of fun, that’s why!

Why Do They Do It?

In a time when violent crime rates are actually falling, why is it that tales of school shootings are becoming more common? I'm not an expert on teen violence, like Dr. Smith and I'm pretty sure she'll have a different take on this than I do, but the question of why kids are killing teachers is something I want to address as a parent.

Why are kids taking guns to school and shooting up the place? I know when I went to school not too many years ago, this wasn't an issue. You may have not liked a teacher or two (I had a fifth grade teacher I couldn't stand) but you never even dreamed about shooting them. Well, I didn't at least, and even if there were kids who thought about it, they never did it.

Why not?

What was so different then?

First, let's eliminate all the usual suspects. It's not rap music, or violence on television, or violent movies, or books, or any of these thing. These are all symptoms of the same underlying phenomenon, effects, not causes. It's not right wing conservatism or liberal permissiveness, it's not atheism or religious dogmaticism. The true culprit is a profound and pervasive lack of respect for the value of life that has become integral to modern culture. A product doesn't sell unless there is already a market for it. Movies, music, books, and games don't make out culture; they are reflections of it. They are indicators, not instigators.

Instead of placing a value on life itself, we've shifted over the years to placing a value on the quality of life, as if that is something that can be measured, when in truth it is an unmeasurable and intangible quality that can never be quantified; it's subjective. But by pretending that we can assign a value to the invaluable, we allow room in our ethics to do things previously considered beyond the pale and still call ourselves ethical.

Abortion. Capital punishment. Euthanasia. Assisted suicide. Fetal research. Eugenics. What do these all have in common?

All of these practices reduce the value we place on life, yet each and every one is ardently supported by one group or another. Some of them are claimed as rights, some treat life as a commodity, while others are said to be duties of the state in taking care of the general welfare. (And if you don't think that eugenics belongs on the list, then you haven't been paying attention to debates over mandatory sterilization for the mentally handicapped, among other issues.) When the leaders of a society signal so clearly and consistently that the value of life in no longer an absolute, it should not be surprising that some mebers of that society will show a decreased reverence for life, making it more likely that they will kill for lesser reasons than previous generations.

So that's the first factor; kids are more likely to kill today than 20 years ago because we've told them that life is less valuable.

The second factor is that we as a society have deliberately become less judgmental and more permissive. Morality has been replaced with behavioral norms. An action is no longer wrong, it is "inappropriate." While many folks feel that this is a step forward, it also enables those who do not share the cultural norms increased freedom to act outside the bounds of those norms. While listening to callers on the radio today talking about the shootings, I heard one caller blame it on the principals for being to strict. I heard several others claim that the shooter was just as much a victim as those who were shot.

We are no longer comfortable passing judgments on actions regardless of how extreme they are. When Andrea Yates drowned her five children, family and supporters wanted to blame her husband, her preacher, her doctors; everyone had blood on their hands except for the hands that held the babies under the water. She was a victim.

When actions are no longer good or bad, or even normal or abnormal, but merely appropriate or inappropriate then there is less of a societal restraint on those actions because the consequences are reduced.

These are the twin engines driving the school shootings. Combine a reduced respect for the value of life with a more permissive society, and increased violence is the logical result. We don't see this in the adult community because most of us were raised differently, in a society where life had a higher value, and where there were real consequences for our actions.

Like I said, these are the things I see as a parent, and they are things that I've worked at combatting within my family. I've tried to teach my kids, not by words, but by actions, that all human life has an innate value, that right and wrong are concepts with real meaning and are not relative, and that there are consequences for their actions.

Unfortunately, society rarely takes the hard path; more than likely, all we'll see come out of this is a renewed push for more restrictive gun laws, metal detectors in the schools, and clear plastic back packs.

The French Fight Back

After two weeks of rioting and thousands of cars firebombed, Chirac and the rest of the French government have announced their plan to end the rioting.

They're sending the rioters to their room.

If they persist in their unruly behavior, the next step is to send them to bed without supper, although Amnesty International has already lodged complaints about the brutality of starvation as a disciplinary tool.

Raised on Radio

One of my favorite scenes in the movie American Grafitti is when the Richard Dreyfuss character meets Wolfman Jack in a deserted radio station out in the middle of nowhere. The studio is filled with record albums filling shelves that stretch from wall to wall. As the scene ends, we see the Wolfman working the mic while starting a record on the turntable.

Fast forward a decade or two to the mid 70s. My dad, who seemed to know everybody who was anybody in Knoxville at the time, was friends with the late great Claude "The Cat" Tomlinson, the morning DJ on WIVK. For those of you younger that I am, (depressingly too many of you) Claude may have actually originated the entire Morning Zoo type show, albeit with one important difference. Instead of relying on pre-recorded bits and having an entire crew of people to perform the show (like the John Boy and Billy Big Show, for example) aside from a news anchor and a traffic reporter, he did the show solo. He created characters like Lester Longmire and Old Man Shultz, and performed them all in real time. No pre-recorded scenes for this man; he did it all live.

One morning on the way to school, my dad took us into the studio to watch Mr. Tomlinson work. The studio didn't look anything like what was in American Grafitti; there were still some albums, but it looked like most of the music was on tape cartridges, sort of a cross between a cassette and an 8 track. Again, for you youngsters, ask your parents. We went in to the studio during a commercial, and Dad introduced us to Mr. Tomlinson, who kept moving while talking to us, putting new commercials into the tape player and getting ready to go back on the air. He signaled us to be silent, then his voice changed and he went from Mr. Tomlinson to Claude the Cat. He started doing a commercial for some restaurant I think it was, when all of the sudden, his head jerked to the side and the voice of Lester Longmire was coming out of his mouth. He and Lester had a 30 second conversation about breakfast at whatever the restaurant was, and Claude's head moved back and forth as he changed voices. It was an amazing and somewhat creepy performance, especially if you were a 11 year old kid.

After the bit, he went back to a pre-recorded commercial, and started talking to us again. We thanked him and left the studio to go to school.

So, y'all are all asking yourselves "Why is he telling us this?"

I'll let you know soon.

Well, That Worked Out Just Great, Didn't It?

Another spectacular meltdown by Fulmer's choice for quarterback, Eric Ainge.

Two 4th quarter interceptions that cost us 10 points and any chance of winning.

A delay of game penalty on the last drive.

Intentional ground penalties.

A drive killing fumble.

At least 4 overthrown balls for potential touchdowns.

Hell, the only receivers he could hit reliably had on dark blue jerseys.

But you know, it's not all his fault. It's clear to even the casual fan that the kid is not ready for the big time. So what would you say about a coach who keeps putting him into situations he's not prepared for?

And how about good old Rick Clausen, Cotton Bowl MVP, relegated to signalling in plays with Jim Bob Cooter from the sidelines? Yes, I'm sure he's happy with the situation.

You know, he's the second good quarterback we've watched Fulmer destroy before our very eyes. Remember Joey Matthews? Yeah, Fulmer benched him for winning his only start. And who did he bench him for? Well, let's see, he had Brandon Stewart and Peyton Manning in reserve. Who would be the best pick? Hmmmm. Let me think. Why, Stewart of course!

Actually, given the mental pounding Ainge is taking, let's make that three good quarterbacks destroyed.

And for all you radio pundts who claim that it isn't coaching, because it;s the players themselves that fumble, drop balls, miss blocking assignments whatever; let me remind you of two well known sayings in football.

You play like you practice.

You practice like you're coached.

It IS the coaches you dunderheads! They're job, they're only job, is to get these players ready for game day. Can anyone seriously make the argument that, defense excepted, UT has been ready for any game this season?

Ahhh, to heck with it. I'm not watching another game until the Vandy game. I want to see them break the 23 year losing streak.

By the way, if by some chance Rick Clausen is reading this, I just want you to know that there are a lot of UT fans out there that think what's been done to you is a damn disgrace. You've done everything this program has asked of you and gotten nothing but the shaft from Fulmer. Keep your head up, and I know that wherever you go, you'll find success.

My Buddy Frank

My friend Frank Murphy just made a commercial. You can see it here. (requires Internet Explorer. May not work for Mozilla users.)

As you might guess, my Mom's not real thrilled that I hang out with him.

Update on the Novel

It sucked. In fact, it sucked so bad, I junked it. Yep, the whole thing, every word I'd already written is now trash canned and I've started all over from the very beginning.

And I think it's going to be worth it.

Not only was the first one bad, and I mean really bad, it was hard as hell to write and was going very slowly. In three days, I wrote just over 2000 words. Today, after junking the original and going in a completely different direction, I reeled off 3300 words, and they don't suck!

Well, they don't suck quite as badly.

Now all I need are 9000 more words by Sunday night and I'll be back on track! Or if I completely refigure, I need 2180 words per day to hit 60,000 by the 30th, and that gives me a little cushion.

Yeesh!

It's a Sorry World We Live In...

...where 13 year old girls can die of cancer.

She was in my son's class at school, and was diagnosed with leukemia last year. She died last night when her kidneys failed and her heart stopped beating.

How do you help a young boy understand the death of a classmate when you don't understand it yourself? When my father died a year and a half ago, it happened suddenly, but it wasn't a surprise. Given the lifestyle he chose to lead, it was only a matter of time before his body broke down.

But this just makes no sense. As I try to wrap my mind around it, something just rebels and says "NO! This cannot be! It must not be!" And the parent in me shivers in terror and looks for the nearest shaman to intercede with the gods to spare my child from this. But what I'm really begging for is that the gods spare me from the horror.

Why does a 13 year old have to die? My religious friends all say "God works in mysterious ways" which to me is a total cop out. I say that if God created us in his own image and if everything happens for a reason then we should be able to figure out that reason. My New Age friends tell me that her soul had finished the task it had chosen on this earth and was ready to move on. Another cop out. If this life were so meaningless, then it wouldn't hurt so damn much.

No, the only explanation that makes sense is that it doesn't make sense. There is no plan or purpose to everything. When God made the world he slapped it on the ass to get things moving then stepped back to watch the show while we scurry around like little ants, colliding and bouncing off of each other, and pretending that we can make sense of it all while children die of disease and hunger and accident or worse. And we shie away from acknowledging the randomness of their deaths because it leads us to one immutable and intolerable fact; we aren't in control of anything. Life doesn't make sense and has no meaning; it just is.

And that just puts things in a brand new perspective, doesn't it? Too often, we (and by 'we' I really mean 'I,' since I'm really talking about myself here; y'all are just along for the ride to keep me company) get so wrapped up in our plans for the future that we forget that it's all a crapshoot. We worry about things that don't rate worry; after all, in 50 years, who's going to care whether I vacuumed the living room today or put it off until tomorrow?

So if you're not where you planned to be 10 years ago, or you've got money worries, or personal problems, or lacking a girlfriend (Durn! 4 for 4.) take a deep breath and relax for a minute. You're alive. Your kids are alive and healthy and not in therapy, prison, or rehab. That puts you well ahead of the game. Everything else in life is gravy.

Looks Like I May be Going to Jail; Can I Bunk with Judith Miller?

According to the AP, our wonderful congress critters failed to pass an amendment that would exempt the internet from campaign finance laws.

The effect is that the FEC can now proceed with rules and regulations on what I can say on this blog and when I can say it.

Guess what?

NOT GONNA HAPPEN!!!

Not in this lifetime anyway. The right of the people to speak freely, and this most definitely includes political speech is a right enshrined in the COnstitution and it will take a lot more than a bunch of pusillanimous cowards hiding behind bogus laws to take that right away from us.

Which just may explain the push to legislate the Second Amendment into irrelevance, along with the Ninth and Tenth.

And I'd like to single out the following Tennessee representatives, who all voted against the amendment: Jim Cooper (D); Harold Ford (D); Bart Gordon (D); John Tanner (D); and Zach Wamp (R). To each of you I say go find a copy of the Constitution and read it. Pay particular attention to the Bill of Rights, and realize there's a good reason why the first one concerns freedom of speech and freedom of the press. I'm covered by both clauses, you idiots, and you cannot tell me what I can or can't say.

Any questions?

Meet the New Boss: Same as the Old Boss

UT just announced their first move in the post Sanders era; they're benching Clausen in favor of Ainge.

Yeah, that'll work.

OK, we're going in to Notre Dame and there's a couple of things we know right off the bat. First, we have to establish a running game. This is a necessity if we want to have any hope of winning. Unfortunately, offensive line play has been spotty and it looks like our only options at tail back will be Cory Anderson, the starting fullback, or a freshman walk on.

This is not a recipe for a great ground game.

Lacking a ground attack, the next best option is a strong short passing game. Once agan, we have problems there as well. Not only do our receivers have a hard time catching the ball when it hits them in the hands, the touch pass is not exactly the strongest part of Ainge's game. (Which of course begs the question, "What is the strong part of his game?") It seems to me that in this situation, you'd want the guy who reads defenses best and who can deliver the short pass in at quarterback.

And last and certainly least, we come to the deep passing game. This is Ainge's one advantage over Clausen; he can overthrow the receiver by 30 yards instead of 10.

So, it appears that our game plan come Saturday will be run for 2 yds, run for 1 yard, run for minus 4 yards and/or get a penalty, then hurl the ball downfield as far as possible and hope an orange jersy comes up with it.

I'm not too optimistic about our chances.

And So It Begins

50,000 words in thirty days. That's what it's all about. It starts now, after midnight on Nov 1 and runs to midnight Nov 30.

My beginning:

"I went to the kind of high school were ballroom dancing was taught as a mandatory part of the phys ed program.

49,978 words to go. Wish me luck!