Shots Across The Bow

That's all for now.

I'm headed out to Panama City Beach, in FLA, the Redneck Riviera, baby! A little fun, a little sun, and a whole lotta economic stimulus, since I got my rebate check in the mail this morning. That's right, mailed on Friday, in my box by Saturday morning.

Y'all take care while I'm gone. You can have some friends over, but no parties!

I'll be back next weekend, so while I'm gone, check out the good folks to the left.

A little good news

We keep hearing from our friends on the left that it's all about jobs and the economy. I wonder why we haven't heard anything about this?

The number of Americans lodging new jobless claims dropped to the lowest level since February, the government said on Thursday in a report showing surprising strength in the U.S. job market.

The level of new claims, which gives an early reading on the resilience of the job market, plunged by 29,000 to 386,000 in the July 19 week, down from a revised 415,000 in the prior week, the Labor Department (search) said.

New claims were far below Wall Street expectations for 413,000 applications, and the lowest since the week of Feb. 8. It was also the first time since then that initial claims were below the critical 400,000 mark, a level viewed by economists as the sign of a soft jobs market.

One week does not a trend make, but coupled with the flat line we've seen on unemployment over the last several cycles, this could be really good news.

The New Tailgate Party is here!

Uncle has just posted the latest Tailgate Party, where the best and the brightest of the RTB are celebrated for their wisdom and perspicacity. It takes talent, ambition, and a significant amount of booty osculation to get a post in the VTP. The selection process is long and arduous, ensuring that only the finest blogs are presented for your perusal.

Actually, none of the above is true. All you have to do is submit a post and you're in.

There's a good crop of posts this week, so head over there and check 'em out.

A Dark Day for Democrats

Bill Clinton has sold them out.

Clinton appeared on Larry King Live last night and had this to say about Iraq, WMD, and the SOTU speech:

First of all, the White House said -- Mr. Fleischer said -- that on balance they probably shouldn't have put that comment in the speech. What happened, often happens. There was a disagreement between British intelligence and American intelligence. The president said it was British intelligence that said it. And then they said, well, maybe they shouldn't have put it in.

Let me tell you what I know. When I left office, there was a substantial amount of biological and chemical material unaccounted for. That is, at the end of the first Gulf War, we knew what he had. We knew what was destroyed in all the inspection processes and that was a lot. And then we bombed with the British for four days in 1998. We might have gotten it all; we might have gotten half of it; we might have gotten none of it. But we didn't know. So I thought it was prudent for the president to go to the U.N. and for the U.N. to say you got to let these inspectors in, and this time if you don't cooperate the penalty could be regime change, not just continued sanctions.

He goes on to say:

We should be pulling for the people of Iraq. We can have honest disagreements about where we go from here, and we have space now to discuss that in what I hope will be a nonpartisan and open way. But this State of the Union deal they decided to use the British intelligence. The president said it was British intelligence. Then they said on balance they shouldn't have done it. You know, everybody makes mistakes when they are president. I mean, you can't make as many calls as you have to make without messing up once in awhile.

There you have it from the big dog himself. The "16 words" were based on British intelligence, which the Brits still stand by.

Bush didn't lie. Clinton left open the question of whether it was poor judgment to use the intel, but that is a valid point of contention.

Ways to enjoy your lay off.

As y'all know, my buddies at WOKI are facing the specter of unemployment, something I may also be facing in the near future. As a public service for them, and anyone else who's suffered through the weakened job market, I thought I'd give us all a look at the positive side of unemployment. So, without further ado, here is my list of

• Maintain your contacts by calling your employed friends and inviting them to play a round of golf. On Wednesday morning.
• Annoy conservatives by going to the welfare office in your three piece suit.
• Relieve the stress of unemployment by going on a "free" timeshare vacation. As soon as the sales pitch begins, inform the agent you were just laid off. Enjoy a peaceful, free vacation.
• Use your new freedom to take up a hobby, like panhandling in the old city. You’ll meet interesting new people, and improve your job interview skills.
• Keep physically fit by participating in sports, like competitive sleeping, or advanced aerobics class spectating. (Warning! The latter may involve actual exercise if you get caught.)
• Use the opportunity to pursue an alternate career by finally completing that ICS course on locksmithing you started 10 years ago.
• Show that there's no hard feelings by filing humorous complaints with OSHA, EPA, and Labor Board against your old employer. Claim you were let go for being a whistle blower. Enjoy the hilarity that ensues.
• Show your spouse how much you appreciate their patience by taking over some of the household chores. Annoy the crap out of them by telling them how they've been doing it wrong.
• Get involved with your kids' education. Volunteer at their school and make sure to embarrass them at every opportunity. This is easier than it sounds, because the simple fact of your presence is enough to mortify them for months.
• Have fun with telemarketers. Engage them in long draw-out conversations. Order one of everything they're selling, with all options. Once they get to billing, suddenly remember that you're unemployed. (This option also has a socially redeeming value, since as long as the soulless vampire is tied up with you, he isn't sucking the life out of the next poor bastard on his list.)

So you see, there are plusses to being unemployed. With a little forethought, and a minimal effort on your part, there's no reason why you shouldn't enjoy this quiet interlude in your life and come out the other side rested, relaxed, and amused, while also continuing to contribute to the public good.

Valarie Plame and Bob Novak

There's a lot of foaming at the mouth coming from the left over this one. Bob Novak wrote a column which has sent the sharks on the left into a feeding frenzy. They claim that the Bush administration revealed an undercover CIA operative as revenge. This is absolutely unconscionable, and if true is worthy of impeachment.

But is it true?

Here are the details. Retired diplomat Joe Wilson was sent to Niger in 2002 to investigate intelligence reports which suggested that Iraq was trying to buy uranium. Wilson is not a member of the CIA, but was recruited for this task, as he had been stationed there during his career. Wilson reported that the story was unlikely.

This all blew up when Wilson wrote in the Times that the claim in the SOTU speech was false, and told about his trip.

Now Novak casually mentions in his column that Wilson's wife, Valarie Plame, is a CIA operative and was the one who recruited Wilson.

This is the info that has the dems all sweaty. They are accusing the Bush of revealing a covert agent as petty revenge on a dissenting diplomat.

It's a great story. Too bad it's not true.

Here's the relevant portion of Novak's column:

Wilson never worked for the CIA, but his wife, Valerie Plame, is an Agency operative on weapons of mass destruction. Two senior administration officials told me Wilson's wife suggested sending him to Niger to investigate the Italian report. The CIA says its counter-proliferation officials selected Wilson and asked his wife to contact him.

Note that the info that Plame is a CIA operative in unattributed. The "two senior administration officials" are the source for saying that Plame recruited Wilson, a charge by the way that Wilson flatly and angrily denies.

"That is bulls__t. That is absolutely not the case," Wilson told TIME. "I met with between six and eight analysts and operators from CIA and elsewhere [before the Feb 2002 trip]. None of the people in that meeting did I know, and they took the decision to send me. This is a smear job."

In a press briefing, Scott McClellan catagorically denied that anyone in the administration was authorized to leak that information.

That is not the way this President or this White House operates. And there is absolutely no information that has come to my attention or that I have seen that suggests that there is any truth to that suggestion. And, certainly, no one in this White House would have given authority to take such a step.

So we have an unattributed outing of a CIA agent as supposed retaliation for an exposure of a lie that was never told.

More cotton candy from the left.

There will be a congressional investigation, and a lot depends on who the "two senior administration officials" are, what exaactly they told Novak, who actually approached Wilson, and who was the source for outing Plame.

IF it it is proven that Plame did recruit her husband, and
IF it is proven that administration officials leaked the info that she was a CIA operative and
IF it is proven that the leak was oredered by the White House, and
IF it is proven that Bush gave the order, then it's time for impeachment. But that's a long chain of 'ifs'. It's much more likely that the leak was unauthorized, and the person responsible will take the fall.

But we'll wait and see.

A good question

Rush Limbaughtomy links to a series of stories about cnservatives who fall onto hard times, hurt by legislation they support. The stories are satire, but he fails to indicate that in his post, although a commentor pointed out where the picture was stolen from.

But the really interesting thing is the question he asks at the end of the post:

How do so many vote Republican when it is clearly against their best interest?

Maybe it's because we're capable of voting in the country's best interest, even if it may not be in our own best interest. You remember, that whole "Ask not what your country can do for you..." thing? Dems used to be really big on that kind of stuff. Now it just confuses the hell out of 'em.

Pretty ironic, eh?

A chance to make a difference.

A few days ago, I wrote about how Citadel Communications was shutting down one of the few good radio stations in Knoxville, WOKI, 100.3 The River. Citadel has not officially announced the format, but there are rumors floating that they plan on airing Hot Adult Contemporary music, whatever the heck that is. Apparently they want to take market share from B97.5 in order to make WIVK, the number one station in the market, look even better.

Well, there's some people in Knoxville who would rather not have another automated station playing the muzak that marketers think we want to hear, and they're trying to do something about it. There are two websites that I know of that are organizing campaigns to try and save The River. They are:

Save 100 The River and Don't Damn the River Both sites have contact information for both local and corporate management for Citadel.

If you like a choice, if you like a wide variety of music, if you like a station that gets involved with the community, then please take the time to visit these sites, and send an email to Citadel supporting The River.

Here are three key email addresses:

John King Regional Vice President
Judy Ellis Chief Operating Officer
Eric Logan President of Programming

We have to be honest, and realize that petitions alone aren't going to do anything. In order to get their attention, you have to hit them in the pocketbook, and the key to that is advertisers. Yes, I'm talking about a boycott.

You don't have to wait for one to be organized; simply act on your own. Let advertisers know that you won't be supporting them if they advertise on Citadel stations.

The most important thing is to act now. WOKI goes off the air at midnight on July 31. Time is running out.

Next let's arrange a family reunion

According to reuters, it appears that we may have gotten Udai and Qusai Hussein, Saddam's two sons. If this report pans out, it'll be the best news we've had in awhile. Udai, the eldest son of Saddam, was nothing but a brutal thug, but Qusai was dangerous, perhaps even more so than his father. While Udai lived a flamboyant lifestyle, his younger brother kept out of the spotlight, earning his father's trust and working his way up into Saddam's councils. Udai, on the other hand, played the role of the out of control animal, going so far as to kill one of his father's favorite servants. Shortly thereafter, there was an assassination attempt on Qusai that nearly succeeded, leaving him crippled.

There are reports that Udai planned and co-ordinated that attempt, shifting the blame to a rebel group called Dawa.

Afterward, the younger brother held the stronger position as his father's successor. While Udai was relegated to running the government press and the national Olympic team, Qusai ran the Special Republican Guard.

They are both animals, but Qusai had a brain to go with his brutality.

It would have been better to capture them, particularly since the rumor is that Qusai was in charge of hiding the WMD prior to the War.

Cherry Picking.

SKBubba has put up a post on air quality in Tennessee, and TVA's pollution reduction efforts. He uses the post to take a swipe at the Bush administration saying:

"The current administrations [sic] relaxed attitude about air pollution can also be seen in TVA's data. Note some of the changes on the current administration's watch:

Allen: SO2 up 35% and CO2 up 53% since 1999.

Bull Run: SO2 up 10%, NOX up 37% since 1999.

Colbert: NOX declined from 2000 to 2001, increased in 2002.

Cumberland: SO2 declined from 2000 to 2001, increased in 2002.

Gallatin: NOX declined from 1999 to 2000, began steady increase in 2001.

Johnsonville: NOX decreased from 2000 to 2001, increased in 2002. SO2 decreased from 1999 to 2001, increased in 2002.

Shawnee: NOX and SO2 emissions declined from 1999 to 2001, then increased sharply in 2002

Pretty damning. Until you look at all the data to get a real picture of what's going on. Starting from the top: (all data in thousands of tons unless otherwise specified)

Allen.

The average SO2 emissions from the Allen plant during the last four years (1997-200) of the Clinton admin were 18.5. For the first two years of Bush: 17.1. For CO2, Clinton's numbers were 4765.3 Bush 5144. So what are we looking at? Under the Bush administration, the Allen plant averages less SO2 emissions, and only an 8% increase in CO2 emissions than the previous administration. That's a far cry from 35% and 53% increases, isn't it?

Maybe the Allen plant is an exception. Maybe the other plants that Bubba cites are the real bad guys.

Nope.

Bull Run
SO2 Clinton 49.25 Bush 42.6 Decrease
NOX Clinton 15.6 Bush 17.5 12% increase

Colbert:
NOX Clinton 16.2 Bush 15.1 Decrease

Cumberland:
SO2 Clinton 19.3 Bush 16.1 Decrease

Gallatin:
NOX Clinton 11.8 Bush 11.4 Decrease

Johnsonville:
NOX Clinton 19.9 Bush 22.4 12.6% Increase
SO2 Clinton 117 Bush 101.5 Decrease

Shawnee
SO2 Clinton 35.6 Bush 33.5 Decrease
NOX Clinton 26.3 Bush 19.3 Decrease

So why are my numbers so different from Bubba's? Am I massaging the data to get the results I want? I'll let you decide.

In his post, Bubba says that the data shows how the Bush administration is "relaxed" on air pollution. So I decided to compare them to the previous administration. Looking at the data, taking the first term of the Clinton admin would be unfair, since many of the new regs were just going into effect, producing tremendous drops in emissions. Using the entire 8 years would artificially inflate his admissions, putting him at an unfair disadvantage. However, the data also shows that the lion's share of improvements had occurred by 1996, so I chose to use Clinton's second term as comparison. The rest is simple math. I took an average for the last four years (1997-200) of the Clinton administration, and compared it to the average for the first 2 years of the Bush administration.

Not a lot of massaging involved.

On the other hand, let's look at what Bubba did. He chose the year 1999 as his basis for comparison, even though Clinton still had a year left in office. Why?

It could be because 1999 represented a low point in emissions in all catagories at most coal fired plants in TVA. Was this due to some marvelous Clinton initiative? Nope. NOAA data shows that Jan, Feb, Nov and Dec of 1999 averaged almost Download file" target=_blank>4.5 degrees warmer (Excel summary of NOAA data) than usual while the rest of the year was only .8 degrees warmer than usual. Emissions were down because the winter was unusually mild. Unless you want to credit Clinton with el Nino, the unusual low emissions of 1999 do not represent a valid data point. This is further verified by the fact that nearly every emission rose back to a more normal level in 2000.

Bubba has endulged in a favorite ploy used by many environmentalists. Take the low point, regardless of circumstances, and compare it to current performance. Although you're guaranteed to get a dramatic increase the statistical invalidity of such a practice is readily apparent. Only by taking a series of data points can you get a true representative sample.

David Kelly and the BBC

Here is all we need to know to judge these events:

"I believe I am not the main source," Kelly told the committee Tuesday. "From the conversation I had, I don't see how (Gilligan) could make the authoritative statement he was making."

Gilligan is Andrew Gilligan, the BBC reporter who published a report accusing the Blair administration of distorting intelligence on Iraq's WMD capabilities, supposedly based on conversations with Kelly.

Is Gilligan another Blair?

A Lesson in Leadership

There's one in every work group. You know the guy; he's the one that always thinks he has a better plan. No matter what's going on, it's all screwed up.

"We shouldn't be doing it this way," he'll proclaim to anybody unlucky enough to be in earshot. "This is all screwed up. It'll never work."

When things go well, he dismisses it with a shrug and a "Hey, even a broken clock is right twice a day. They got lucky." But let things go wrong, and it's "See! I told you they didn't have a clue. I knew they were all screwed up. But would they listen to me? Heck no! Gotta keep the peons in their place; that's the way the Man thinks!" And somehow, you can hear the capital "M" in his voice.

Of course, the guy never has any real ideas on how things should be done better; he just likes to make himself feel important by his constant carping. Try and pin him down on ways to improve the job, and you get, "Hell, that ain't my job. I just do what I'm told. But I'm smart enough to know what's what, I'll tell you that much."

Gee, thanks. "What's what." Never would have thought of that.

The endless stream of negativity from this dolt drives his co-workers nuts, not to mention his poor supervisor, until they eventually learn to ignore the whiny little bugger. Usually by then, he manages to transfer into a new group, so he can terrorize them for a few months.

You all know him, and have had to work with him at some point, so here's my question:

Would you put that lousy son of a bitch in charge of anything more important than counting the wood in the scrap bin?

Just a thought....

Ron Jeremy look-a-like no more!

The scars from the plastic surgery have healed, and you now see the new me.

OK, no surgery involved, but it's amazing what a good night's sleep, a shower and a haircut will do for you.
Before.

After

A night on the town

Posting will be light today, as I am headed to K-town for Sundaown in the City, to eat dinner at Sullivans, then listen to some good music from Sister Hazel. I know y'all will manage to get along with out me for a little while.

One last time, for old times sake.

SKBubba, a man I know and respect, has catalogued what he sarcastically calls a list of Bush accomplishments. It is quite a recitation of machiavellian manipulation combined with boneheaded incompetence designed to make a liberal's toes crack with outrage.

There's only one slight problem.

Much of it is wrong, some of it is out right deceptive, and whatever kernals of truth the list contains are drowned out by the blast of bias and venom.

There are legitimate issues for the libs to oppose Bush; I even share some of them. But when they are enveloped in spurious attacks characterized by distortion and misinformation, their legitimacy is lost in the noise.

Let's take a look at the list, item by item, and see if we can find those kernals of truth. Hang on; it could be a bumpy ride.

The Bush Administration Record of Accomplishment (so far):

• Engineered a coup in conspiracy with brother Jeb in Florida to take office
  

  Unfounded. This issue has been discussed exhaustively over and over again. There simply isn't the evidence to prove a conmspiracy which would have to stretch over several years, be able to pinpoint the key state in an election 2 years away, and put the mechanisms in place to effectively steal that state. The ballot recounts showed Bush won. The overvotes were not counted in accordance with the law of the state of Florida, it being impossible to determine voter intent when two valid votes exist. The purging of the voter rolls is a questionable area, but considering that more connections between Saddam Hussein and al Qaida have been documented than between Republicans and ChoicePoint, and we know how credible liberals find that connection.

  
  

• Administration made up of former executives involved in illegal arms sales, trading with the enemy in violation of U.S. law, and corporate financial scandals, and their companies are now profiting from war
  

  Distortion of the facts, if not an outright lie. Halliburton was convicted of selling arms to Iran, however, Dick Cheney was not a part of the company when the ofense occurred. For an exhaustive discussion of Halliburton past and present, go here, and follow the included links.

  
  

• Stonewalled Federal judge requesting files in relation to White House official's involvement in corporate finance scandal
  

  Bush acted in accordance with advice from the White House Counsel, advice which mirrored that produced by the Clinton White House when similar demands were made. Protecting Executive privilege is a legitimate function of the President. If you believe that power is being abused, you'll have to come up with evidence.

  
  

• Representing party of smaller government and less Federal spending, creates largest bureaucracy in U.S. history and supports largest entitlement spending program in U.S. history
  

  True, but incomplete. Much of the expansion in social spending comes from compromise with the liberals in Congress, in order to pass a budget. Is it a wise tactical move to criticize a president for advancing your agenda? As for the largest bureaucracy, 9-11 has something to do with that, although the effectiveness of that bureaucracy is questionable, and a legitimate campaign issue.

• 26% loss in Dow Jones Industrial Average, 48% loss in NASDAQ, 33% loss in S&P 500, trillions in wealth wiped out.
  

  For these numbers to be meaningful, you'd have to show causation, identifying specific actions of the President which caused the loss in market value. This will prove difficult, since the market peaked prior to the election, and most analysts attribute the drop to the collapse in tech stocks after the dot com bubble burst. Add the effects of 9-11 to that downward pressure, and there's not much blame left to attribute to Bush. Add to that the fact that the market has bottomed and is rebounding and the market becomes a very weak issue.

  
  

• 9% increase in consumer debt to all time high of $1.74 trillion
  

  Misleading and meaningless. Obviously, with rare exceptions, consumer debt as an absolute number will increase over time, as the number of consumers increases over time. However, let's take a closer look at the numbers and see how Dubya rates among recent presidents. During Dubya's first two years, consumer debt rose 10.4%. By contrast, during Bill Clinton's first two years, consumer debt rose a whopping 22.8%, and 21.6% during his second two years. He fell off his stride during the first half of his second term; consumer debt rose a modest 11.1%. He closed strong, though, finishing up with a 17.6% gain. Going back to Bush the Elder, I found that he had an increase of 6.9% during his first two years, and a decrease of 0.2% to finish up. By these numbers, it looks like Dubya has cut the rate of growth of consumer debt by nearly 50%. You can run against that if you'd like, but it might be difficult.

  
  

• 25% increase in overall bankruptcy filings, 8% increase in business filings, 26% increase in personal bankruptcy filings
  

  This chart shows that the bankruptcy rate has been increasing at a steady pace since 1984, allowing for the effects of economic downturns. This table gives the numbers behind the chart, and shows that the bulk of the increase (19%) occurred during the first year of his term, when reverberations from the dot bomb, Enron, and Worldcom were still ravaging the economy. It is notable that bankruptcies were up only 5% during the last full year. The question becomes this: What effect does the President have on the filing of personal bankruptcies?

  
  

• Two and a half million jobs lost and counting

• Unemployment claims at eight year high, nearly nine million people out of work
  

  Looking at the statistics from the Bureau of labor, we see that again, the majority of job losses came during the peak of the recession during Bush's first year. The rate of job loss has dropped to nearly zero, and most economists are predicting a strong second half. 16% of corporate CEO's are expecting to hire new workers during the next 6 months, up from 9% last month. Should the recovery continue and grow stronger, it will be very difficult for dems to run on. But you're welcome to try.

  
  

• Record budget deficits, $450 billion and growing
  

  Record by number, but not as a percentage of GDP, which is a more informative number. However, given the events of the last two years, running a deficit is not altogether unexpected. In fact, back when Newt was running his Contract with America, of which one of the primary planks was running a balanced budget, dems were livid, claiming they needed the ability to run a deficit in times of economic downturns or war.

  
  

• Proposed tax cut could pay for hiring all nine million people out of work and pay them $80K per year instead of benefiting wealthy
  

  Gross factual error. This canard has been demolished before, but for those weak in basic math:
  

  9,000,000(unemployed)X80,000(salary)X10(years for the tax cut to produce savings of 350 billion)= 7,200,000,000,000

  
  or 7.2 trillion dollars. Even using the dem's assumption that the tax cut will save 850 billion over the next ten years, it is clear that the statement above is flat out wrong.
  But it goes further than that. Notwithstanding the math error, the characterization that this tax cut benefits primarily the wealthy is also wrong, as discussed here. I'm getting a 50% tax cut, and I'm not wealthy by a long stretch.

  
  

• Gutted clean air regulations, allowing utilities and factories to continue polluting the atmosphere

  
  

• Rolled back wilderness protections, opening up wilderness areas to logging, mining, other development

  
  

• Rolled back wetlands protection, reducing or eliminating regulations prohibiting pollution of wetlands
  

  Bush is not as strong on the environment as some would like. The accusations here are valid, but are they important? Most surveys rate the environment well down the list of priorities when it comes to picking a President.

  
  

• Proposed school vouchers to take taxpayer money away from public education and give it to wealthy families to send their kids to private schools
  

  More distortion. The vouchers are not earmarked for the rich, but to allow families to pull their kids out of underperforming schools. Wealthy families already send their kids to private schools. Saying that vouchers are a sop to the rich is simply invoking class warfare in a area where it doesn't belong. As for vouchers, I have my doubts about whether they will work, since I don't believe the failure of our educational system is due to a lack of money, but it least it provides alternatives where there were none.

  
  

• Worst terrorist attack in history, worst attack on U.S. soil occurred on current administration's watch, mounting evidence of numerous warnings that could have prevented it

• Administration stonewalling investigators and attempting to suppress report of intelligence and law enforcement failures leading up to worst terrorist attack in history
  

  The evidence is clear with advantqage of hindsight. I'm still waiting for anyone to show that there was evidence that would create a reasonable suspicion of 9-11, and detail reasonable measures that would have prevented it. Given the difficulties Israel has had supressing terrorism, even with their restriction on civli liberties, I'm skeptical that such reasonable measures exist. As for the so-called stonewalling, I've seen nothing different from any other administration protecting itself from a partisan witch hunt.

  
  

• Made speeches promising more funding for shipping container inspections at U.S. ports to look for nukes and other WMD, then eliminated funding from budget
  

  Valid point

• Passed sweeping laws violating individual civil rights guaranteed by the Constitution
  

  Actually, Congress passed the laws. If the laws do violate civil rights, a point which is a legitimate concern, I expect to see several SCOTUS challenges in the near future.

  
  

• Holding hundreds or thousands of prisoners without probable cause, charges, or access to legal counsel
  

  Valid point. Whiule I understand the motive, and the concerns, I cannot support holding people, particularly American citizens or legal immigrants indefinately, and without counsel.

  
  

• Allowed North Korean sale of Scud missiles to Yemen
  

  So? The sale was legal. What pretext did we have to stop it?

  
  

• Conducted illegal preemptive unprovoked military invasion of sovereign state resulting in hundreds of military casualties and thousands of civilian deaths, deceived Congress and UN Security Council to justify
  

  Malicious distortion of the facts bordering on lies. Military action was authorized by the US Congress, and by the UN. Additionally, extensive violations of the terms of the cease fire from the Gulf War provided all the provocation required for resumption of hostilities. As for deception of Congress and the UN, Colin Powell's presentation to the UN provided confirmation of info provided by UNMOVIC and Hans Blix. If evidence exists of Bush deceiving Congress, it has yet to be found. We've heard claims and counter claims, but no proof either way. Once again, if you make claims of malfeasance, the burden of proof is on you.

  
  

• Proposes sweeping cuts in veteran's benefits, instructs Veteran's Administration to deceive veterans with regard to benefits available
  

  Shameful

  
  

• Pissed off the Dixie Chicks
  

  Laughable

  
  

• Made deal with Iranian terrorist organization
  

  Problematic, but pragmatic.

  
  

• Dressed in fighter pilot costume and flew military jet to aircraft carrier for stunt landing and political fundraising/campaign event despite having ticket pulled and being grounded for failing to take required physical and drug test and being AWOL from post during Vietnam conflict
  

  More distortion of fact. This charge too has been dealt with extensively here, and here. He was not AWOL as his home command knew where he was, and he wasn' grounded for missing his physical; he didn't take his physical because he was serving in a non flight status at the time.

  
  

• Declares victory, yet soldiers die in Iraq every day, half the country has no electricity or water, attempts to install democracy failing miserably, Saddam and his alleged WMD cannot be found, neither can Osama
  

  More distortion, accompanied by an egregious mistake or an outright lie. President Bush has never declared victory in Iraq. He has declared an end to major combat, which is accurate. He has also said that Iraq remains a dangerous place, which is also accurate. Attempts to bring democracy to the Iraqi people are proceeding as a steady pace, in spite of continued opposition from Saddam loyalists. BAghdad and other cities have Iraqi city councils, and the nation as a whole has a newly constituted governing council. Considering that the US rebuilding of Japan took 7 years, I'm not ready to declare failure in 7 weeks.

  
  

• Unable to get assistance from France, Germany, or India to provide troops for additional security and peacekeeping in Iraq
  

  No surprise here. france and Germany have no intention of helping the US, as their primary focus is becoming the center of an anti US cabal. They want to counter US power. With that aim, the best diplomat in the world wouldn't get help from them. Yes, Chirac said he'd be willing to send French companies in to help with reconstruction, with the price that the new Iraqi gov't would honor french oil contracts made with the Hussein regime. I don;t think the US would endear themselves with the Iraqis by allowing accomplices of the Hussein regime to continue raping them.

  
  

• Proposes development of tactical nuclear weapons in violation of 1992 Senate ban
  

  Proposing is not a violation of the ban. I disagree with tactical nukes, but it is an option that should be discussed.

  
  

• Proposes privatization of Medicare disguised as prescription drug benefit, rejected by Congress
  

  This is a legitimate campaign issue, since it reveals two different philosophies for preserving Medicare benefits.

  
  

• Tax cuts already passed would fund health insurance for all 43 million uninsured Americans, including nearly ten million uninsured children
  

  Again, this reveals two different philosophies. By stimulating the economy, Bush hopes to employ more people, allowing them to get their own insurance, rather than simply providing the insurance, which provides no economic stimulus and creates no jobs.

  
  

• Pushes legislation to eliminate overtime pay for up to eight million American working people
  

  More distortion. The legislation, according to giov't estimates, may cost up to 2 million people their overtime, at the same time making it available for about 2 million more. The 8 million number is a liberal estimate. The issue is legitimate, but it would have been nice to see the whole issue explored, rather than just part of it.

  
  

• Admits phony intelligence on Iraq nuclear program, but maintains it was technically not a lie because some other guy said it and he was just repeating it
  

  More distortion. The quote was: "The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa." As of today, the Brits still stand by that claim, indicating that they had evidence beyond the forged documents. I'll be interested in seeing that evidence.

• Claims two trailers used to make helium for balloons and some junk buried in some guy's rose garden are "proof" of Iraqi WMD programs. 25,000 liters of anthrax, 38,000 liters of botulinum toxin, 500 tons of sarin, mustard and VX nerve agent still missing. Trots Rumsfeld out on Meet the Press to claim these are small things that can be easily moved and hidden, holding out his hands to illustrate something the size of a Mason jar, a magical Mason jar that can hold 63,000 liters or 500 tons.
  

  More distortion, combined with lack of knowledge. The claim that the trailers were used to make hydrogen for artillery balloons, even if accurate, does not preclude the fact that the trailers could be used for the production of chemical weapons, which makes them a banned item. The presence of high speed centrifuges, integral to a uranium enrichment program, buried under a scientists rose garden, along with his testimony that they were being hidden for use when the inspections ended are in fact proof that hussein maintained a nuclear program in defiance of UN resolutions, including the cease fire.

  25,000 liters is about 6,600 gallons. The standard gasoline tanker holds 12,500 gallons. Obviously, it would be very easy to move two gasoline tankers or hide them in thousands of miles of desert. Or slip them over the border into Syria.

  
  

• Expands Department of Homeland Security terrorist fighting activities to include spying on American citizens suspected of posessing child pornography
  

  Valid point

  
  

• Pushes legislation to limit medical malpractice claims to $250K, even if an incompetent doctor kills your wife or cuts off your legs instead of removing your appendix
  

  Not true. The legislation does not limit compensatory damages, only punitive damages.

  
  

• Installs new Senate majority leader with ties to health care industry to shepherd through legislation benefiting corporate insurance and pharmaceutical pals
  

  Putting people in place to advance his agenda.....and this is wrong why?

  
  

• Pushes legislation to limit bankruptcy protections for consumers targeted by predatory lenders, but proposes no reforms for rogue corporations such as Enron that blow off creditors, employees, and investors at pennies on the dollar
  

  from the chart referenced above, note that while persoanl bankruptcies have grown as a staggering rate, corporate bankruptcy rates have remained fairly stable, actually decreasing slightly over time, even as the number of businesses increased. The rise in persoanl bankruptcy vs the relatively stable corporate bankruptcy rates indicates abuse of current personal bankruptcy laws. Reform is clearly needed.

  
  

• Pushes legislation to fund faith based social programs, Congress rejects it, Bush issues executive order to allow Federally Funded local and state programs to hire or fire based on religion or ideology and to promote religion as part of delivering services
  

  Valid issue. Again, this represents a difference in philosophy.

  
  

• Declines invitation to NAACP convention, but sends videotaped greeting to Southern Baptist Convention, calling them faithful servants and praying for them, while they adopt a policy that "homosexuals can find freedom from this sinful, destructive lifestyle" by accepting Jesus as their savior
  

  Since when is the President not allowed religious freedom?

• Comments on Supreme Court homosexual rights decision, declares "marriage should be between a man and a woman"
  

  As did others, including Howard Dean, Joe Lieberman, Dick Gephardt, and John Kerry

  
  

• Files amicus brief with Supreme Court urging them to strike down Affirmative Action programs, celebrates Strom Thurmond's "remarkable life" and says he was a friend
  

  The amicus brief concerned the University of Michigan admissions programs. The court partially agreed with the brief, striking down the undergraduate admissions process.

  
  

• Plans on spending $200 million plus to get re-elected against challengers the GOP says are unelectable
  

  Just because the money's raised doesn't mean it will be spent. Besides, campaign bravado is one thing; the campaign is another altogether.

  So there we have it. Several hours spent digging for facts and analysing claims, and what do we have left? A few legitimate issues buried in a morass of anger, venom and distortion of fact, along with a little innuendo to liven up the mix.

  Dems are making the same mistake reps made with Clinton; the primal scream of fury drowns out the sound of any truths that may be expressed.

  The title of this piece is The Last Time for a reason. These charges have been placed on the President time and again, and refuted time and again. I don't expect to change any minds with this, but from here on out, when the list is thrown up, I, and anyone else who wants to, can just link to this and end the debate.
  

  Posted by Rich at 9:36 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Nevada Supreme Court usurpation of power checked.

A federal judge has blocked the Nevada State Legislature from passing almost $800 million in tax increases by simple majority after a the Nevada Supreme Court set aside a Constitutional requirement for a supermajority.

It's too bad that federal judges have to get involved in state budget disputes, but when the state supreme court acts as recklessly as the Nevada Supreme Court acted, there's simply no other choice.

What really interests me in this is how the dems, who control the legislature, chose to frame the battle. The rammed through spending increases across the board, and didn't choose to fight the tax battle until the last spending bill, education. This kind of political brinksmanship is fundamentally dishonest, and akin to blackmail. They are the ones holding the state's children hostage by trying to use them as leverage to force the largest tax increase in state history, over the obnjections of the people of Nevada.

No Day Care; Do They Care?

Say Uncle writes about Fort Sander's decision to end their employee day care operation:

FSRMC recently announced its intent to close its in-house daycare center used by employees, on or before October 1. At a meeting, some executive announced (rather callously) that the rumors were true and that the daycare was closing. This same executive also stated that the daycare represented prime real estate and that the daycare was operating at a break even point. However, the hospital is in need of revenue and the daycare would be closing so that two new doctors could occupy the roughly 2,400 square foot area currently used by the daycare and bring in some revenue.

WATE carries a piece on this and you can find it here. Their slant is a little different:

Fort Sanders officials say the hospital can't afford to keep the Child Enrichment Center open. A spokesman tells 6 News, "Despite rate increases and a variety of cost-cutting measures, we've been unable to bring expenses in line with revenues."

So, Fort Sanders tells their employees that they need to generate more revenue, but leaves the press with the impression that they're forced to cut costs, and the day care center is a victim of that pressure.

Isn't this ironic? Fort Sanders claims to be the "first place for women's healthcare services in East Tennessee."

Unless you work there.

The Day the Music Died.

Ok, it's not quite that bad; nobody actually died, but it's bad enough. WOKI, aka 100.3 The River, is going silent at the end of this month as operations are taken over by Citadel Broadcasting of Las Vegas, NV.

Why is this such a bad thing?

I wrote a brief review of The River back in April, singling them out as one of the strongest stations in Knoxville, musically speaking. The River introduced new artists to Knoxville, artists like Norah Jones, John Mayer, Jack Johnson, and most recently Jason Mraz. They brought these artists to town for concerts big and small, many of them free. They also supported local artists like Jagstar and Scott Miller, giving them airplay and exposure as they ventured out of the regional market into the national spotlight. Along with some classic rock, they played new tracks from classic artists like Fleetwood Mac and Tom Petty. They played the blues regularly, the only big radio station in Knoxville to do so. In short, they carved out a unique niche in the Knoxville music, building a station that was more about the music than the marketing. The River was gaining market share throughout it's run, and was doing so without pandering to its audience with teenaged Russian lesbian pop singers or foul mouthed shock jock DJ's.

And of course, we can't have that in radio now, can we?

Citadel hasn't said yet what format they're going to use on the station, but based on their other programming, it'll be a lukewarm rehash of the same tired crap that fills the radio dial from top to bottom.

Well, we still have WDVX, and there's internet radio at work, but for my morning drive to work, I'll just listen to a CD or an audio book.

No need to turn on the radio; we've heard it all before.

I Can't Believe he just said that!

I've gone a couple of rounds with Barry B. and Bubba over certain leftist's notions that anything that is bad for Bush is good for America, regardless of the short term costs in lives or money. We talked in particular about Gary Kamiya, editor of Salon.com, who argued that it was moral to oppose success for Bush initiatives if you believed that success for Bush was bad for America, even if the failures cost the lives of American soldiers or Iraqi civilians. It is a particularly heartless calculus, no less reprehensible for it's basic accuracy.

I ran across another example of that calculus today, (Well, yesterday. I really should be in bed.) only this time from the right. I was listening to All Things Considered on NPR, and they ran a feature on what the Democratic Party needed to do to become a viable political force again. While most of the piece focused on the disarray within the party, both tactically and ideologically, near the end of the piece, another view was expressed.

Norm Ornstein, of the American Enterprise Institute, says this:(Audio link. The remark comes at 7:00 into the story.)

But just remember that there's nothing wrong with the Democrats that 10% unemployment wouldn't cure.

Maybe I'm just too idealistic for politics, but this kind of numbers crunching, without regard for the real human costs sickens me, whether it comes from the left or the right.

The Perils of Poison Ivy

When I was a kid, poison ivy didn't bother me a bit. I remember one time our family was out on the lake, and we'd pulled into a cove to camp for the night. I found a nice spot under a bunch of trees where there was a lot of low undergrowth that made a really nice cushion under my sleeping bag. It wasn't until the next morning that I found out that the undergrowth was all poison ivy. I was sure that I would break out into the world's worst rash and sufffer the totures of the damned, but a week went by, and nothing.

I was immune! Superman of the plant kingdom; that was me. Kick your ball into the poison ivy? No problem; I'd leap right in and retrieve the ball, saving the day. Poison ivy couldn't get me.

Now I know better.

See, poison ivy is like an allergy; you have to be sensitized before it couses a reaction. It might not get you the first time, or the second, or the tenth, but eventually, it'll get ya.

Now, I get a rash if I look at the stuff.

And not just a mild rash with red skin and a small blister or two, but great big bulging blisters liberally covering the affected area of my skin. And how to describe the itch? It's like nothing else in the world. Mosquito bites aren't in the same league as this itch.

I think part of it is how sneaky that itch is. You can go for hours without even noticing it, then all of the sudden, one gentle brush of a shirt sleeve, or the soft touch of a bedsheet on the rash and it's an instant scratching frenzy.

You try to resist scratching, but it catches you off guard, and before you know it, you're ripping into flesh, trying to satisfy the chemically induced imperative to scratch till you draw blood.

And it feels so good!

Oh, sure, you try to control it; you try to be good. You start off just rubbing it.

"I'm not scratching it; I'm just rubbing it!" you tell yourself. But it's never enough. The poison is smarter than that. As you rub, it performs an unusual trick where it numbs the skin so you don't feel the rubbing while it intensifies the itch. Before long, you're 'rubbing' with enough speed and presure to wax an entire 1963 Cadillac Deville.

Fins and all.

"This isn't working," you tell yourself. "I have to scratch, but just scratch around the edges. I won't scratch the blisters." But the poison is still smarter than you are, and it moves the itch around, always where you aren't scratching. Like a skilfull inquisitor, it leads you on, tempting and tantalizing you into scratching just a little further, a little harder, and a little faster, until your will snaps, and you indulge yourself in an orgy of scratching that leaves you with tattered skin and a desire for a cigarette.

And you don't even smoke.

Now, here's an interesting fact about poison ivy that I'll bet you didn't know.

It only affects human and a few other higher primates. Now what the heck is up with that? Why would a plant evolve a defensive mechanism that only affects a few species? Particularly when the species it is defending against is a relative newcomer to the scene, evolutionarily speaking. What did we ever do to the ivy plant to deserve such special treatment? It's not like humans are any real threat to wipe out ivy. Heck, any plant that can grow on a brick wall is pretty much immune to anything we could throw at it, short of a thermonuclear holocaust, and I'm not sure that would work. If we ever do wipe ourselves out, the world will be inherited by rats, cockroaches, and poison ivy.

Oh yeah, and kudzu. But that's another story.

Music has changed

My daughter just had her 13th birthday recently, and one of the things she asked for was the new CD from t.A.T.u. I couldn't figure out why she wanted to listen to Herve Villechaize singing, but if that's what she wanted, I would get it for her.

I got the CD and she was thrilled when she opened it.

If you've been following along, you know that we celebrated her birthday in Nashville during the 4th of July weekend, which means that we got to listen to t.A.T.u. for the entire three hour drive home.

Just in case you are as culturally illiterate as I am, t.A.T.u. is not the song stylings of Herve Villechaize, but bubble gum pop from a pair of Russian teenyboppers. According to their web site, the girls making up the dup were chosen from hundreds of hopefuls, all eager for their chance at stardom, and good dental work.

My first clue that this wasn't just some run of the mill, pre-fab, Milli Vanilli types was when my oldest son told me he wanted their album too, but the DVD version, not the CD. Now, I'm not up on the latest music trends, but when my 13 year old daughter and 18 year old son want the same music, alarm bells begin to ring.

Then I saw the MTV Movie Awards. I was flipping channels and came across waht I thought was a soft core porn channel. Dozens of girls in Catholic school uniforms were dancing and stripping on the stage, while two more girls were prancing around singing something about "not gonna get us." The scene reminded me of a strip club (not that I would know, but....well, it's what I would imagine a strip club would look like if I'd ever been inside one. Which I haven't. Never mind.)

Anyway, come to find out that the show was on MTV and the act performing was none other than t.A.T.u. Apparently, part of their shtick is that these two girls are lesbians.

Why?

I've heard their music. It's perfectly reasonable pop music, nothing special, but snappy. Why market them as lesbians?

Wecome Back!

The Spoons Experience was a witty conservative blog that went away in January. Now, to the disgust of liberals everywhere, he's back. He's also back on my blog roll.

Judicial Insanity

Here's the news from Nevada:

The Nevada Supreme Court ordered the state Legislature back to work Thursday, lifting the constitutional provision that has allowed Republicans to block a tax plan and public education funding for almost six months.

By a 6-1 vote, the court said Nevada’s law that mandates a two-thirds vote to raise taxes must give way to a more entrenched provision that mandates the funding of education.

Ignoring the obvious bias of the 'reporter', let's move further down in the story, where we find this:

Congressman Jim Gibbons, R-Nev., said the court’s ruling outraged him. Gibbons led the way to adopt the two-thirds vote requirement for taxes during his years as an assemblyman from Washoe County. The Gibbons Tax Restraint Initiative also was overwhelmingly approved by Nevada voters in 1994 and 1996 before it was added to the constitution.

SKB is worried that his vote may not be counted, based on some speculative pieces in a left wing journal.

I'm far more concerned when activist judges directly ignore the expressed will of the people, nullifying portions of the State Constitution at will. It looks to me like even if your vote is counted in Nevada, it may be ignored. Hell, I guess it's easier to ignore an election than rig one.

Eugene Volokh has done an admirable job of countering the forthcoming arguments in favor of the ruling, including this paragraph:

Fourth, it's not at all clear that there's really a conflict between the provisions. As I mentioned, the education funding requirements in article 11 of the Nevada Constitution don't explicitly require a specific amount of funding. The Legislature could cut the funding for education, or for other services. It may be damaging to the state's educational system, but it is doable. And while the result might be lousy policy -- perhaps so lousy that the Legislature will muster the 2/3 majority needed for a tax increase, or find better places to cut, so that education would end up being better funded -- it would avoid what the court has done: A flat judicial nullification of an entirely explicit command of the Nevada people.

Dems are furious for US Senate Reps attempts to change the rules on filibusters, claiming that it weakens the minority party, shifting the balance too far to the majority; oddly, they seem to be silent on this judicial attack on the powers of the minority party.

Could it be because the minority party in this case is Republican?

The good news is that Nevada Supreme Court Justices have to stand for election, and I'm betting that none of the 6 who voted with the majority will serve another term.

Unless of course the Nevada SC rules that judicial elections are a "general procedure", superceded by some specific need, and overrules that part of the Constitution as well.

Our 4th of July

This year, we did something different for the 4th of July. Instead of having the Nashville branch of the Hailey clan come to East Tn., we went to Nashville. My aunt was celebrating her retirement from Sears, and we combined her party with my mother's birthday(July 3) and my daughter's birthday (July 14) into one spectacular blowout.

For more, including lots of pictures, click the link below.

I know some of you are wondering if we were able to continue our tradition of smoking inordinate amounts of pork over a creatively acquired pig pit.

But of course. The beauty of the Hailey Pit is that all you need is an unguarded construction site and you're in business.

In another bold and daring idea, we decided that instead of getting motel rooms, we would all camp out, setting up a tent compound in my aunt and uncle's backyard.

Unfortunately, we failed to consider one important factor.

It was July.

It was hot. I mean really hot. And humid. I know it hits 120 in Iraq, but at least that's a dry heat. I knew it would be rough, but hey, it was a family thing, right?

The kids and I put up our three tents, and got ready to settle in with the rest of the family. Except that they weren't setting up tents. My sister took her family to stay with one cousin. My brother took his girlfriend to stay with another cousin. heck, even one of my kids went to stay with his cousin in a motel.

My kids and I were the only ones brave enough (or stupid enough, depending on your point of view) to camp out.

It wasn't pleasant.

Morning came early the next day, and the party began.

Matt had gone to a lot of trouble getting the house and patio ready for the party, and his efforts really paid off.

Of course, with the heat, there were several who chose to stay inside, in the air conditioning.

While others, braved the heat, getting into a mean game of basketball.

Of course, Hailey's have a unique style of basketball, one which requires considerable co-ordination and concentration.

Let's see Michael Jordan do that!

Partying over a long weekend is a matter of pacing yourself. Some are strong out of the gate:

But can't go the distance:

It takes dedication and experience to keep the party going all weekend long. This youngster shows definite potential:

All in all, it was a great time (we spent the second night ina motel. Sweet air conditioning!), and everyone got along well, which is good, since we're all going to Panama City in two weeks.

Florida will never be the same...

Oh My Stars!

Just got an e-mail from TJ Buttrick of Virtual Sanity. Y'all may recall that TJ signed up for the Army following 9-11. TJ was one of the first to link to me, and I wished whim well as he entered basic as a 30 year old.

So now I get an email from him:

Hey Rich,

Long time. Loved the huli story!

Anyway, I was visiting your site for the first time in a long time - having just recently earned the privilage of internet access in my room and can now browse at leisure. My roommate looks over my shoulder at your photo and asks, "...is that Ron Jeremy?"

Funny, I was going for Mel Gibson...

Obviously, drastic measures are called for. I've an appointment with a hairstylist, image consultant, personal trainer, and a plastic surgeon.

Ron Jeremy!

yeesh....

The Big Race

Yep, they wanted us in their race. So what the heck; we signed up.

Now we needed a team name, one which would intimidate our competition, show them we were serious competitors, possibly throw a little psychologicaal advantage our way. God knows, we needed every advantage we could get.

So we pondered and cogitated while kicking back and watching a Packers game on TV.

One of the cooler things about being so far west was that football games started at 8 AM local time, which meant you could watch a full day's worth of games, and still have time for a dive that afternoon.

Anyway, we were watching the Packers because Scotty, first seat in the wa'a, was a cheesehead born and bred. During halftime, we were talking about what we should be called, floating ideas like 6 Guys and a Canoe (too dull), Kamelalawahewannawoopie (too hard to fit on a T-shirt), and The Oarsman (sounded too much like a 50's Doo-Wop group), when a commercial for Rold Gold Pretzels came on, featuring that guy from Seinfeld as the Pretzel Boy. The hockey team needed another player, and there was our hero, sitting in the stands, eating his Rold Gold pretzels.

"Hey, Pretzel Boy! Get in here, we need ya!"

Those words struck a chord in our souls, and we fell silent, considering the possibility. Could it be that we had found our name? It seemed so close, yet something was missing. We needed something else to go with it, to add the final touch. We racked our brains trying to find the final piece of our new identity, and failed miserably.

Then the game began again, and the gods smiled on us, and bestowed upon us the final piece of the puzzle.

We had our name. We would be known forever more as

Cheesehead and the Pretzel Boys.

As you may have noticed from the picture, we were not the epitome of athleticism, so we knew we would need lots of practice. We paddled every afternoon after work, plying the waves of the channel, learning to maintain our rhythm and stroke, strengthening our bosies and minds for the upcoming race. Scotty was our lightest team member, so we put him in the first seat. It was his job to steer wa'a to our destination. Jim was our steersman. He sat in the 6th seat, and shouted direction to Scotty in front. The rest of us were grunts, or as they say in Hawai'ian, grunts.

We paddled together, huli'd together, sweated together, and became as one, like a hand with 6 fingers. Well that would be a bit awkward wouldn't it? UNless you were Count Rugen. Hmmm...

Anyway, the day before the race, we went out and ran the course. It was a simple down and back course, covering a little over a mile. There were three lanes set up, with a marker at the beginning, and a bouy marking the turning point. We had to paddle down to our bouy, turn, and paddle back.

Simple, right?

It was during practice.

Then came the day of the race. While there were three lanes set up, there were only two boats in our heat; us, and the Island's top team, the one that went to compete in the real races in Hawai'i. Now we were realistic; we knew there was no way we could beat those guys. Some of them had been paddling canoes since they were little kids. All we wanted to do was be competitive. We positioned our canoes at the starting line, waiting for the horn to sound.

A quick blast, and we were off, paddles churning the water in sprint to get the wa'a up on plane and out of the water. Our practice had paid off, and our wa'a jumped like a goosed debutante and the race was on. Later, the other team admitted to surprise at how quickly we pulled away from the starting line, and they really started putting their backs into it. Instead of an easy win, they had a race on their hands.

The first half of the race went fairly well. We fell into our rhythm and while our lead was shortlived, we were within a couple boat lengths when we started to approach the bouy. It was then that we noticed that we were heading too far to the right, away from our bouy.

Jim yelled from his seat in the stern, "To the left, Scotty; to the left!"

"I got it!" was Scotty's calm reply, as we headed further and further out of our lane.

Jim yelled again, "Wrong bouy Scott! To the left!"

"I got it!" said Scotty, as we approached the wrong bouy.

It was only when we entered the turn that Scott saw the correct bouy and steered us to it. The other team has long since made their turn and were headed back to the finish line while we struggled to get the wa'a to the right bouy. We eventually got back on course, and finished the race dead last and disqualified.

But there's no great loss that doesn't bring some small gain. From that day on, all we had to do to get Scotty to buy a round at the club was to holler,

"To the left, Scotty, to the left!"

And he would get it.

Learning to Huli

New experiences are what make us grow. We learn more about ourselves when we push our limits, test our boundries, or make complete asses of ourselves. For example, I spent a year on a 2 mile by half mile strip of sand and coral called Johnston Island.

I was there to clean up some stray plutonium.
It wasn't a big deal. A test rocket malfunctioned and was destroyed while on the pad, which spread bits of warhead all over the island, which was a bit inconvenient for the crew performing the tests. At the time, they went around with geiger counters and shovels and buckets, and any time they found a hiot spot, they dug it up, and took it to the launch site. Once the island was cleaned, except for the 5 acre area around the launch site, they put up a fence, and carried on with business. 30 years later, somebosy decided that it would be nice to collect all the bits of warhead and get rid of it.

That's why I was there.

But that's not what I want to tell you about.

While there, I got to do some things I never did before, like learn to huli.

Now, huli sounds a lot like hula, but isn't. Hula means some pretty little thing in a grass skirt and very little else, shaking her hips at you in a mildly to strongly suggestive manner depending on the dance, beckoning to you gracefully as you stuff yourself with roast pig and poi. Huli, on the other hand, means you stand an excellent chance of drowning.

It's important to note these small differences.

One of the new experiences I tried while on JI was learning to paddle a Hawai'ian war canoe, or wa'a. You've seen them before, the canoes with outriggers on one side? You'd think that the outrigger would add stability to the thing. I know we thought that.

You'd be wrong.

We took a lesson from a Samoan, who taught us how to paddle (turn from the hips, not the shoulder), taught us the timing and how to call changeover of strokes ("Hut, hut, HO!"), and how to carry the 400 pound boat to the water.

And so we set off, 6 men and a boat, off to paddle the two miles to the next island over. Things went well for a while, and we bagan to sink into the rhythm of paddling. Now the hull of the wa'a is shaped so that once you achieve a certain speed, the boat planes out, and rides on top of the water, making paddling much easier. While this makes the canoe much faster, it also makes it less stable, which is why the outrigger or ama is there. Sadly, we never achieved that speed; instead of gliding over the water, we plowed through it.

You see, the 6 paddlers paddle on opposite sides of the wa'a alternately. OK, that's confusing. To put it another way, each paddler paddles on an opposite side of the wa'a, until they switch. Hmm. still not clear. OK, try this. Number the people in the wa'a from 1 to 6. Odd numbers paddle on one side, while even numbers paddle on the other side. This provides a good balance for the wa'a, but causes intense fatigue for the paddlers, so you have to be able to switch sides to even up the strain. In order to accomplish this without disaster, everybody has to switch at the same time. The man in the number two position calls out in time to the strokes "Hut, hut, HO!" On "HO!", each paddler lifts his paddle from the water, and shift to the opposite side of the wa'a. By moving in perfect harmony, balance is maintained and no speed is lost.

In theory.

And it worked that way several times. Of course, like I said, we were wallowing through the water instead of gliding, so we were fairly stable. But we were getting better at maintaining our rhythm, and at one point, we did plane out and began to glide through the water. Then it was time to chageover.

"Hut, hut HOLY SH..!"

It was amazing how quickly it happened. One instant we were paddling along, and the next, we were all in the water wondering what happened to our boat. It was floating beside us, upside down.

That's a huli.

We had to right the wa'a by lifting on the ama, then the lightest one of us climbed in and started bailing. Once we got enough water out, we could climb back into the wa'a, which was a bit easier said than done, since we didn't want to rehuli. Evnetually , we figured out that we had to approach from the ama side, and we all got back into the wa'a, only to discover that we;d forgotten one important factor.

Paddles.

Two of us went back into the water to recover the paddles, and then we were on our way back to the safety of the plutonium infested island. We made it back without a repeat huli, and our instructor congratulated us on our recovery. He said we did very well for first timers, and convinced us to enter the races coming up in 6 weeks.

But that's a story for another night.

Remember, a hula is a hot dance; a huli is a cold bath.

Who said blogs aren't educational?

Turnabout is fair play

Here's one that bubba will really like!

Modeled after a Defense Department concept that ostensibly could keep tabs on every American, a pair of Massachusetts Institute of Technology students have created a website in which users can "track" politicians and government officials.

The project, called Government Information Awareness, or GIA, was developed by Chris Csikszentmihalyi, assistant professor at the MIT Media Lab, and graduate student Ryan McKinley.

The goal was to design a site that would act as "sort of a citizen's intelligence agency," Csikszentmihalyi told the Boston Globe.

Even in it's bandwidth restricted state, you can pull up all kinds of info about your favorite pol.

Bookmark it. You'll need it later.

Congrats to Rushlimbaughtomy.com!

Our very own Barry B has won the TTLB New Weblog Showcase, tallying 33% more votes than his nearest competitor.

Drop by and congratulate him.

Holiday Break

The Hailey tribe will be niting in NAshville over the weekend to celebrate the holidyas, so I'll be out of contact until Monday. Y'all have a safe and happy holiday!

Silver tongued devils

European politicians are so much more articulate than Americans. We need somebody like the new EU President, Silvio Berlusconi.

Berlusconi, speaking Italian, snapped: "Mr. Schulz, I know there is a producer in Italy who is making a film on the Nazi concentration camps. I will suggest you for the role of `kapo.' You'd be perfect."

Yep, it's the height of diplomacy to compare a German MP to a Nazi concentration camp guard.

Then again, maybe not.

Dean's Dilemma

Speaking of CJ, he asks an interesting question today about Howard Dean.

It seems the presidential candidate was against intervention in Iraq because they weren't a direct threat, and the humanitarian disaster wasn't justification enough, but now he supports intervention in Liberia because of the potential humanitarian disaster.

Now wait a second... if we follow Dean's logic, we must first establish that a country is a threat to the world (which he believes Iraq is not) before we can send in troops. And since Liberia is "exactly the opposite," than Liberia must pose a threat to the world, and, therefore, it's time to send in troops.

But that's not what he's saying. He knows Liberia isn't a threat to the world. No one is making that argument. There is, however, a potential for a human catastrophe that could develop into something as bad as what was happening in Iraq before the liberation. Dean believes the human catastrophe in Liberia must be avoided and the U.S. must lead the way.

What about the human catastrophe in Iraq, Dr. Dean?!?

It will be difficult for Dean supporters to spin away this flip-flop.

A Conundrum

Bill Hobbs has posted on the fact that he's taking some heat over at SKB for not having comments on his own blog. A couple of the more vociferous (yep, read the thesaurus again last night. Gotta get a life...) liberal commentors there dream of the day when Hobbs gets comments so they can "take the fight to him on his home ground."

Funny thing, though.

I have comments. So does Uncle. And