Shots Across The Bow

The Emmy Brouhaha

So, did anybody actually watch the Emmy's Sunday night?

Neither did I.

But I did hear this morning about all the people who were offended that the show opened with a parody plane crash tied to the TV show Lost. Apparently some folks in Kentucky felt it was in bad taste since they had a plane crash that killed 49 people that very morning.

You know, they have a point. It is kind of offensive. So I started thinking about all the other potentially offensive things we should remove from TV.

• People die in car crashed every day, and seeing one on TV would certainly hurt the surviving family members, so let's remove all car crashes and chases from every movie and TV show. And commercial for that matter.
• No more detective shows featuring murder and rape.
• No more CSI shows either.
• No more hospital shows, which might offend those who have been in a hospital
• No more competitive sports, because the violence might offend the pacifists, and the fact that somebody loses might offend all the losers in the viewing audience.
• No more Jerry Springer (Not necessarily a bad thing.)
• No more Oprah (Ditto)
• No more beer commercials, because they might offend the non drinkers, and besides, they prominently feature pretty women, and that's a big no-no.
• Feminine hygiene product ads will be allowed because nobody could be offended talking about extra heavy menstrual flows during dinner, right?
• No religious programming at all.
• No more sitcoms, unless every joke is targeted at Southern, white, conservative, Christian males, because they deserve it.
• No more reality shows. No, I'm serious on this one. No more. For the love of all that's holy, no more!
• No home shopping shows, which might offend the poor.
• No more makeover shows, that might offend the poor and ugly.

So, after we've cleansed television of all the offensive content, what are we left with?

Sunday morning political talk shows and ads for feminine hygiene products, AKA douche ads and douche bags.

Killer lineup, eh?

And if I haven't offended enough folks yet, let's go further. To all of you people who were offended by the opening of the Emmy's, do you really think anybody who lost a family member on that flight was actually watching?

"Uncle Fred is dead; I don't know how I can go on. Oh look! The Emmy's are on!"

Please!

Or do you think that maybe somehow, over the course of a 10 hour day, they managed to forget all about the crash until they saw the opening of the Emmy's?

Again, please!

I have the deepest sympathy for those who lost somebody in that crash. I have the deepest contempt for those who are trying to use that tragedy to manufacture outrage and headlines.

Posted by Rich at August 28, 2006 7:15 PM | TrackBack