Shots Across The Bow

A Sermon from the Book of Stewart

A Reading from The Bible of NASCAR; The Book of Stewart; Chapter 12, verses 1-

1. And so it was that after the early race, the Crown Prince of Racing in Circles did look out over the tri-oval, and saw that it was not good.

2. And he did speak out, and did say, "Tis is not good. So much bumping and banging is dangerous, and someone will die of it forthwith."

3. And his loyal subjects, the Officials of NASCAR did bow low before his wisdom, and they did make changes to the rules of the contest, to lessen the dangerous bumping and banging whereof the Crown Prince had spake.

4. And the Crown Prince surveyed his kingdon, and saw that is was good, and he was pleased.

5. And the Court Jesters French and Helton did caper with glee that the Prince was pleased and their bells did ring merrily.

6. And the following week came the big race, and all the knights were charged with obeying the new law, lest they face penalties great and severe, and they did all vow to do so, or forfeit their honor.

7. And it came to pass that during the race, the Crown Prince did cross over three quarters of the track, and did drive a fellow knight off the track, sending him spinning into the infield, then through traffic and into a wall. It was only through great good fortune that the knight was not injuered, nor were other valient knights caught up in the incident.

8. And the crowd did cry "Foul!" and "Fie upon the Prince!" and the mages in the booth did cry "Foul," but the loyal subjects of the Crown Prince did remain silent, ruling only that the Prince should move towards the rear of the race, perchance to have more targets fro his aggression.

9. And when the race was through, the Crown Prince did deign to speak to the multitudes, saying "He started it; I finished it!"

10. And the multitudes did speak unkind words to the Prince, and did toss offal and refuse at him, except for those serfs wearing his livery, who did say "Whooo-Hooo" and did contemplate returning to the double wide to beat their children and abuse their spouses.

11. And after the Crown Prince did admit to deliberately wrecking his fellow knight, placing all the competitors in jeopardy, the Officials of NASCAR remianed silent, while the mages in the booth, seeing which way the wind was blowing, changed their tune, and cries of "Foul" became amused chuckles as they labelled the Prince "Boisterous."

12. And the Court Jesters French and Helton did caper with glee that their master escaped unpunished and their bells did ring merrily.

So ends the reading.

In case you can't tell, I'm not a big Tony Stewart fan.

How would you like to be a Nextel Cup driver, knowing that one of the guys on the track with you, strapped in to a 3500 lbs car capable of speeds exceeding 200mph had the emotional stability of a spoiled 5 year old brat?

And I may owe the brat an apology.

He deliberately forced another car of the track while coming up on a turn, placing the lives of many of his fellow drivers at risk. He admitted publicly that it was an intentional move on his part. NASCAR needs to sit the man down for a few races do he understands that that sort of driving is not accceptible.

Either that, or stop penalizing everybody else for it.

Posted by Rich at February 21, 2006 5:11 PM | TrackBack