Shots Across The Bow

Reality vs. Spin

OK, it's warming up outside, and the annual dionysian frenzy known as Spring Break is upon us once again. I was listening to the radio on my way into work last week when I heard Hallerin Hill talking to a young sounding woman about Spring Break in Florida, and what goes on there. Hallerin reacted in what must of been feigned shock to discover that kids on Spring Break actually consumed alcohol to excess!

Say it ain't so!

But that's not what got me started. What really brought the milk through my nose was this girl's repeated statement that parents would be shocked to know what goes on at Spring Break. I hate to break it too all you young folks out there, but there is nothing, and I mean nothing going on during Spring Break today that wasn't going on when your parents were there. Check out Spring Break if you don't believe me. The movie is all about sex and drinking (and swimming with a knife in your teeth), and is over 20 years old. In fact, it's probably a safe bet that some of you going to Florida this year were conceived during a Spring Break bacchanalia. (If that image doesn't lead kids to use contraception, I don't know what will.)

I know y'all hate to think of your parents and sex in the same sentence, but the reality is that today's generation did not invent sex, drugs, and rock n' roll; hell, y'all haven't even improved on 'em all that much.

I flipped over to another station, only to hear the male half of the morning team sanctimoniously claim that if you have any more than 5 drinks at a single setting, you are binging and have a drinking problem.

Since when have we lost our collective minds?

Nobody questioned this pronouncement, which, if you just think for half a second, is patently ridiculous. Now, my dad just died in January from the cumulative effects of a lifetime of alcohol abuse, so I have no reason to love alcohol. In fact, I made the choice early on not to drink, since alcoholism runs in my family. At his worst, Dad would start the day with a bottle of champagne. He'd finish that by around 10AM, and switch to beer, finishing off 6-12 by noon to 2PM, when he'd switch to Jack or Jim Beam (straight up, or with a single ice cube) to finish out the day. He'd repeat the cycle the next day.

Now that's a drinking problem. That's binging. How in the hell can you say that 5 drinks in one setting is the same as that?

Consider the guy who sits down on his couch on a fall Sunday to watch a couple of football games. The games run from 1PM through about 7 or 7:30PM. During that time, he drinks a six pack of beer. By definition, he's just been on a binge, even though he probably didn't drink enough to be legally intoxicated. Or to feel more than a minor buzz. Or even to experience the wonderful joy of a hangover. This is a binge?

I don't think so.

So why is the threshold so ridiculously low?

Could it be to create the perception of a problem that would allow nosy busy-bodies to mind somebody else's business instead of their own?

Posted by Rich at March 24, 2004 1:09 PM | TrackBack