America's answer to the Swiss Army Knife I have a Swiss Army knife. It was given to me by my kids on a Christmas a long time ago. It's a useful little gadget, with hundreds of uses squeezed into a compact package. You have to admire those Swiss; thier ingenuity is unmatched.
Except by us.
We have developed a much simpler tool with far greater applicability that anything the Swiss ever envisioned. My Swiss Army knife is showing it's age. The toothpick and tweezers are long gone, the red plasitc sides have fallen off, and the spring on the scissors no longer springs. The wear and tear of daily use has taken it's toll. This is where the innovative nature of our American version truly shines. There are no moving parts to wear out or break off. This simple object can be used in virtually any field of endeavor: automaotive repair, medical therapy, safety engineering, construction, competitive sports, even in applied social sciences.
What is this miracle of American ingenuity?
Duct tape, of course!
One milllion and one uses, maybe more. Think about it; two guys using duct tape and a hammer can transform a twisted hunk of metal into a race winning car on the Nascar Winston Cup series, and do it in under 6 minutes Let's see you try that with a Swiss Army knife! Duct tape is not limited to structural repairs, but can also be used to make mechanical repairs. My Navy buddy's old Cougar XR-7 had it's passing gear held together with duct tape. I used duct tape once for an emergency repair on my car. My lower radiator hose had sprung a leak, so I bought a small roll of duct tape. I wrapped the leaky section of the hose with about three layers of tape, and off I went, good for another 3000-4000 miles.
But it isn't just for cars. Duct tape can work wonders on old, worn out furniture. If the fabric on your couch cushion splits, don't throw it away. Simply apply a layer of duct tape, and enjoy your couch for years to come.
But Rich, isn't that tacky?
In the hands of lesser men, sure, but I'm going to teach you how to make an invisible repair. First, remove the cushion. Then, turn the liner inside out. Repair the rip with an appropriate width of duct tape. Ensure the fabric completely covers the tape. Turn the liner right side out, and re-stuff. Walla! An invisible repair.
Duct tape should be carried in every first aid kit. In a pinch, it can be used as a bandage, a sling, or even a tourniquet.
Duct tape should be carried by all law enforcement oficers, to be used as handcuffs. A couple turns around the wrists, and the perp isn't going anywhere. It also makes a wonderful gag for those foul mouthed miscreants who won't shut up.
But all of these uses are self evident. I want to look at some of the more esoteric uses of duct tape. For example:
And the list goes on. Yes, duct tape is a wonderful thing. I remember an old TV show called MacGuyver, about a do-gooder who could improvise all kinds of neat stuff using his Swiss Army knife, some string he had in his pocket, a broken pencil stub with no eraser, two nickels, and a piece of chewing gum. The show was cancelled after a few seasons. Had he traded in his knife for a good roll of duct tape, he'd still be catching bad guys.
Posted by Rich at July 18, 2002 6:20 AM