Shots Across The Bow

Put these folks in charge of Homeland Security!

Put these folks in charge of Homeland Security!
My ex-wife is applying for a new job. She responded to an ad and called the place up, and was interviewed over the phone. Afterwards, the man who interviewed her asked her to come down for a second interview. This interview lasted for about 20 minutes, then he asked her to come back and interview again with another member of his management staff. She did so, and then was asked to come back one more time to interview with the general manager. Following that interview, she was told that they were going to check her references, and then get back to her about her work schedule.

I worked one job cleaning up weapons grade plutonium. The area was also used for the long term storage and disposal of chemical weapons. I had access to some of the deadliest substances known to man, and I was hired sight unseen after one phone interview.

So, where is she applying, that takes such a thorough interview and review process? Oak Rdge National Labs, perhaps? The Spallation Neutron Source project, maybe? Nope, nothing so inconsequential. She's applying to be a server at O'Charley's restaurant.

It just doesn't make any sense. She's slinging hash, not guarding the President!

I guess it's just one more question about restaurants to add to the list:

• Why do I have to wait 15 minutes for a table when I've made reservations?
  
• What's the difference between reservations and 'call ahead' seating? Isn't a reservation just calling ahead even more?
  
• Why do they invariably place the smoking section upwind of the non smoking section?
  
• Why are the dinner plates cold but the salad plates are hot?
  
• Why do they keep the lights so low in fancy restaurants? What are they trying to hide?
  
• A hamburger is $4.95. Strip off the bun and throw the salad ina bowl on the side and now it is a ground sirloin steak and costs $9.95. Is it really worth $5.00 to pretend you're eating a steak?
  
• Why would you pay for the privilege of making your own food? A salad bar is bad enough, but there are restaurants now which specialize in letting you cook your own food! Oh joy! I never get to do that at home. Next thing you know, we'll be paying to do our dishes too!
  
• Why does your server come and check on you only when you're mouth is full?
  
• Is it too much to ask to fill my glass with water, instead of seeing just how much ice you can cram into a finite space?
  
• What's with this whole 'server' thing anyway? What's wrong with 'waiter' and 'waitress'? Although it's true that I'm usually the one doing the waiting...
  
• How can a tip be mandatory, no matter how many are in your group?

We have a lot of restaurants in Knoxville. The last census showed that per capita we have more restaurants than we do flush toilets, a fact which is frightening in its implications. We have multiple copies of all the major chains and fast food franchises, as well as a stunning array of locals and independants. You can get any type of food you want, from Cajun to Indian, from Greek to Italian, from Kosher to haute cuisine, from steak and potatoes to a vegan feast (now there's an oxymoron for you). While mediocrity reigns supreme, in a group this large, there are always some exceptional places.
A few highlights from today:

• A hamburger at Litton's in Fountain City
  
• Any steak at Ye Old Steak House on Chapman Highway
  
• Fondue dining at The Melting Pot
  
• The Bountiful Breakfast at the Burning Bush in Gatlinburg
  
• A gyro from the Time Out deli on Kingston Pike
  
• Any sandwich from Harold's Deli downtown
  
• Petros!
  
• The tiramisu from Romano's Maccaroni Grill

And yesterday:

• Thanksgiving dinner at Helma's in East Knoxville
  
• The pewter plates at the Old Rathskeller in Western Plaza
  
• The rack of lamb at the Half Shell
  
• The prime rib from The Regas

My dad always says you can't make money with a restaurant. In that case, there are a lot of folks not making money in Knoxville.

Posted by Rich at July 24, 2002 7:29 AM