A dark day for lovelorn rednecks It is with great sorrow that I have to report to you the demise of Hillary's House of Hillbilly Love (and Bait Shop) It seems they got caught up in a multi-state federal task force targeting asian massage parlors fronting for prostitution. In the latest move in the war on terror, federal agents descended on several massage parlors over 5 states, rousting the girls and arresting the owners. Federal agent Ferd Dickley had this to say:
These women are a drain on the resources of our great nation. They sap the wills and the wallets of our young men, and that gives strength and comfort to our enemies. We believe that this operation struck a deadly blow against terrorists everywhere.
The operation took four years of continuous observation and investigation, as well as undercover activities to document the illegal activities.
"These are some very slick operators," Dickley said. "We were aware of the establishments for quite some time, but thought they were legitimate therapeutic centers. Heck, I even went to one a time or two when my back was acting up. I noticed that the therapists seemed awfully friendly, but didn't think anything of it at the time. But we kept getting reports of prostitution from the public, and decided to investigate. We were shocked to find that the rumors were true, and that prostitution was taking place. We were so shocked, we couldn't believe it at first, and had to investigate again, several times a month over a four year period. But at last, we had enough evidence to put these people where they belong."
Sadly, our friend Hillary and her girls were caught up in this sweep as well.
"I don't see why they had to come and bother us," Hillary said. "Hell, all my girls are home-grown, red-blooded daughters of the United States. We're not a security risk. We just provide a needed service to lonely guys. Where's the crime in that?"
But the law is the law, and Hillary's has been shut down. Law enforcement officials confiscated all property on the premises, right down to the last nightcrawler in the bait shop.
Oh, the humanity!
Posted by Rich at July 27, 2002 3:37 AM